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All this week mom and dad have been getting up at 5:30 or 6 in the morning in order to make themselves more into morning people after reading some article. I am not amused. As a luxury dog, I just want to stay in bed and hang out through the more mundane parts of the morning. However, I quickly realized that getting up early wasn’t a bad thing at all! In fact, the article said that the best way to turn yourself into a morning person was to go for a walk first thing because the sunlight helps improve your body rhythm and gets you up early. Well, darn it if I am not a morning dog now! When I hear the alarm go off, I know to run straight downstairs to my box to get my lead!

This morning was especially nice as you can probably see in the pictures we took while we were out there. A beautiful Sunday morning after a pretty miserable rainy day. And since it was so early in the morning, mom let me off the leash with no restrictions to stay close! I got to run everywhere and see boats and birds and all sorts of fun rolling places.

As I perfected my eau d’Winston, in the newly cut grass of the meadow (apparently they cut the grass so the cows will eat the new shoots of grass, also it tames the meadow which is a very good thing!) I realized that I would soon be leaving my idyllic meadow to head to the snow bound tundras of North Dakota… mom and dad both wondered out loud how I would adapt to the changing weather.

But rolling through the meadow isn’t the only way to perfect your eau d’Winston. As you can see the meadow was full of puddles even though the flood pond had receded a ways. I saw a bird and rain straight for it, and to my surprise, I ended up in chest deep water! However, when I managed to extricate myself, I realized how cool it was to run through the water at the edge! I always thought it was deep, but really I can just go through the water anytime! Mom says I better watch out or I am going to be spending a lot of time in the basement with Twag if I keep it up. I prefer to stay in the luxury of pillows and a bed so I think that I am going to stay out of the slough for a while.

On the way home we saw a squirrel!! We were turning the corner, when I just saw it in the middle of the road, and it froze, so I froze- but then it took off! Excited, I took off, yanking Mom around the corner (she almost dropped me, the camera, and whatever else she was holding), but when she realized there was a squirrel, she ran with me to chase it down! Unfortunately, it got up that tree in the picture before I could meet it, but I watched it from the ground in case it came down! As you can see, I also had no problems going into someone’s yard to check out the squirrel problems.

Speaking of infestations- look what I saw!!! Crazy right? That cat was just brazenly hanging out on the street! I couldn’t go get him because I am a good dog and I know I can’t go into the road (or my parents shout pavement and I am in trouble). But i gave that cat a good staring down. It is ridiculous the problems we are having on our street….

So when I got back, I had to get a bath of course. But to my horror, I discovered I was using puppy and cat shampoo!!?!??! Now, normally I get the help to purchase the groceries, but I had no idea what an affront it would be! And to make matters worse, the cat is licking the puppy!!?!? What is that about? I am issuing a formal protest right now.

Cats are not heroes, they are more like felons- they are worthless. I met a cat for the first time a few weeks ago, and let me just tell you- I was disgusted. They are lazy, sloppy, dirty, and conniving, more like a feline felon than a noble animal of the wild such as yours truly. It was on a walk that I met my foe, he was sitting on a porch stoop licking the dirt off himself when I decided to say hello and make a new friend. That thing just hissed at me, then jumped over the wall and, gracefully landed on all four feet to walk away snobilly.

Miffed, I thought that was the last of the cats, but I have been seeing them everywhere, and each time I do, the experience is a bad one. So I have decided to become an Action Hero in order to rid the world of these prissy purloiners. Every time we go on a walk I check in every doorway, to make sure that security is maintained. I didn’t used to be so nosy, but desperate times call for desperate measures (Mom thinks I am nosy now because I was allowed to go inside Wolfson college, but I am really just securing the area from the kittyfestation).

Part of my Action Hero training includes reading the guidebook (seen above), luckily I am an Oxford graduate, something no cat can claim. Also, I have decided that since cats always land on their feet gracefully, that I will land in a more canine way, on my face. Whether it is tripping over dad’s feet, going down the stairs too quick or jumping off the couch, I am determined to use my face as a gravity deterrent until the kittentastrophe is over.

To prove my point, yesterday I practiced my Superman. Superman, as I found out, can fly! I don’t think he is a bird, but I don’t really care about them anyway so long as they stay out of my yard and my bushes. So if he can fly, I can fly. Yesterday, when a person came over to look at the house stuff, dad was picking me up to carry me outside rather than get the attention I deserve from anyone I deign to allow into my domain. When he got to the top of the stairs I decided it would be a perfect time to practice flying.

So I wriggled out of his arms and kicked off the wall to jump over his shoulder. It was a long way down all of those stairs, but don’t worry- I managed to land on my face! No graceful landing for this pup! Everyone was pretty horrified, but I got up pretty quick to bite the intruder- and everyone got mad, the fall must have knocked my nip into overdrive somehow, or maybe it was the Superman-like flying abilities that gave my jaw more strength, I’m not sure. Its not like I broke the skin or anything!

But one thing’s for sure, no darned cat can ever fly or be Superman like I can!

The past few weeks have been nothing but rain, and as such the back lawn has become a little out of control, and more like a jungle. I couldn’t go to the bathroom in the front yard, but had to resort to begging at the front door to go out in the front yard! As you can see, I had to leap through the tall jungle grass like a tiger or a lion in order to get anywhere! Thus the lawn of doom became my great despair…

We lost many good explorers in that jungle who set out to find the toys that lay in the grass for the move home. This Saturday, however, was the first sunny nice day that dad was home, something had to be done! The lawn of doom would be no more… Dad had to attack bits and then dump his basket, and it took a long time!

I didn’t know if we would make it, I had to leap through it to escape a fate worse than being put into a kennel! We uncovered so many snails and slugs and beetles, they all kept running! I admit, I am a little scared of the mower, but I think that I managed to stay away. I even got in some licks of my own by tearing up plants and chewing up the grass- also pulling sticks and shrubs out of mom’s hands and destroying them!

Springtime is here, and I have finally perfected my dog scent. And, actually, mom is not disgusted by it. And in a complete change of doggy policy, because of it, I am let off the lead far more often! It is win win for everyone!

So basically this is how it goes, to get a truly good scent you need to roll in stuff. Mom was never too pleased to let me roll in stuff because she thought I was rolling in the nasty. I used to, dead birds, goose poop, lady dog pee. But it wasn’t quite right. But this weekend, after some amazing summer weather (21 degrees!!!) I finally got it right- wild parsley, clovers, bluebells, and dandelions! I started rolling in the parsley and clovers, and mom went over to inspect. Not seeing anything out of order, she let me off the lead! So like a crazy springtime dog, I was rolling everywhere! It was awsome!

I even have started to avoid the icky stuff and listen when they tell me to come back. So this spring has been awesome because I can run around the meadow free! Nice one for dog. (Its my favorite thing).

I guess the second part of the story (realy the first) is that we weren’t sure whether or not I could even go punting. Who knows how Wolfson would feel about a dog in its punts. So Dad snuck me around the back to get in the punts while everyone else got all the gear from the lodge. They met us at the harbor, and we got going before anyone could say anything! I have to tell you, though, a dog in a punt- not a terrible thing; mostly I sat looking at birds and enjoying the water, it was like a big drink!

After we struggled for a while, we stopped to have a picnic lunch on the side of the river- I even got a little bit of vin rose! It was a lot of fun, I got to have some pita bread, and some apples and carrots, and went chasing around my own little private meadow. It was actually pretty relaxing. I just wish that I had known that dry land is an oppertunity when you are a nautical dog… Later on the trip, I had to pee so badly because I didn’t take the chance when I had it!

I started going crazy, whining and running back and forth on the punt looking for a place to go (but it was all like indoors where I can’t pee!), I tried to get in the water, but no one would let me do that either! I think my family thought I was getting nervous on the boat and wanted to get back on land… no one thought to hold me over the boat so I could pee! Once we landed, I took the longest pee of my life, it was amazing, I just kept going like a little racehorse. After I was done, I was ready to get back in the punt, but to my dismay, punting was over! I guess such a little dog just can’t hold it for 3 hours or so.

Mom and I did have a run in with a Swan. We were just happily punting along (Dad and Nana finally got the hang of it!) When all of a sudden, this Swan came out of nowhere! At first, it looked nice enough, and was probably going to the punt for a handout like it had recieved from other punters. Then the dang thing noticed me… I stood up happily to meet a new friend when it hissed at me! It seriously, hissed, and was pretty scary. But instead of just swimming away (it definately could have swam faster) it followed us for a mile, just hissing at us! It only left when it saw other punters to hit up for food! What’s the deal?

What a great day on the water! I have never got to spend so much time outside before, it was really nice, and when I got home, I was pooped- I slept all day! It was awesome! This day almost made up for the clinking I recieved, and had it been the last day, it would have, too bad for short puppy memories!

Woof!

Picture 1: Me watching Dad skillfully navigate the Cherwell River

Picture 2: Look out Mom! Trees ahead!

Picture 3: Picnic on the grass

Picture 4: Mom and I stare down the evil Swan

Picture 5: Nana and I have a relaxing cruise on the water

This week was the best worst week ever. I am an Oxford dog- so notice that there is no comma between best and worst, making them two adjectives that describe week- no; this was the best of the worst weeks- meaning that it wasn’t the worst week ever (as in the it was the best at being the worst week), but rather a week so full of highs and lows for a puppy that I didn’t know if it was the best or worst week ever. I have decided it was the best worst week, making it one of the worst weeks because everything bad happened at the end and everything great happened at the beginning, and I am a puppy and puppy memory and mental state really relates to things that have just happened!

Things started out promising- Nanee and Nana came to town to visit! They stayed a whole week! And then on Sunday we had a big Sunday Roast and I got to play with Jake and Nick, Jeff and Rebecca, and Eliana! It was a house full of people to play with, and even better- I got roast meat! And that always makes for a great time! Then we went punting and had walks and longer walks, and were outside in Oxford- and the week was really great. But then towards the end of the week, things went bad, because I got put in the Clink overnight and then on Saturday I got left in the kennel for 7 hours! Then, to make things worse, everyone left on Sunday, which made me very sad because I was full of energy from being in the clink for so long.

The Fourth of July was yesterday, and my colonist parents of course put up a serious rukus- but not as much of a rukus as I managed to put up! It was a good day all in all, especially because they took me to the Merton Sports Grounds with them for an American Style BBQ and Fireworks, but most importantly- American style football!

I was let off the lead to roam around, and in order to impress my parents, I didn’t go to crazy on the many people that were there, I just ran around wagging my tail at some, and jumping on those that said hi to me, gave them a lick and moved on. I stayed pretty close by, although, this one time I followed this bearded guy around the back of the building and mom had to chase me down… Needless to say, the guys started a game of pick up football, and that is when I really learned to love Cornwallis’ folly.

I would run around between the players following the ball. As soon as one of them dropped it, I was off like a rocket with it! Five grown men hot on my heels- and I love the attention. I managed to get my tooth stuck in one of the laces by accident, and those guys aren’t exactly gentle (my dad had to come in and defend me at one point, I may look like a big dog, but I am just a puppy!) but I’m ok, because it was so awesome. I made the brand new football look like a worn and ratted old thing! So much fun! I even got some meat from the BBQ.

Later on I was chauffered home so that I could sleep off the excitement, it was too much for a puppy to handle! I heard that my parents stayed and set off fireworks, and woke all of St. Catherine’s College by singing a cat howl version of the national anthem. What do you do? I was so pooped, I haven’t had that much excitement in a long time!

Woof!