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In 2002, George Bush identified Iran, Iraq and North Korea as the ‘Axis of Evil,’ bent on dooming us all into a world of darkness, despair and gnashing of teeth. China, on the other hand, has different opinions on what constitutes “evil.” According to the Chinese government, the triple scourges of the earth are 1) the “Dolly Llama” 2) “splittests” and 3) free plastic bags.

We all know that the ‘Dolly Llama’ is satan’s spawn bent on sowing seeds of discontent and instigating murder, violence and sabotage (the Chinese media is never wrong), and what right do those ‘splittests’ have to protest for cultural and religious freedom? But, free plastic bags? Yes, they are an environmental hazard, but not any more so than China’s polluting factories and other environmentally damaging practices.

The Chinese government seems to have a jihad against free plastic bags. Here’s an excerpt from an article from chinaretailnews.com:

China’s Ministry of Commerce has drafted a rule on the use of paid plastic bags and is soliciting suggestions for the rule across the country. As part of the rule, the Ministry of Commerce will punish supermarkets and shopping malls that provide free plastic bags to consumers after this rule is enacted on June 1, 2008.

Ministry of Commerce’s new rule asks that the price of plastic bags must not be lower than their cost and the retail sites must not give away any free plastic bags to consumers by any means, including offering discounts, or they will be fined up to RMB30000.

In addition, the rule says that retail sites should order plastic bags from manufacturers whose plastic bags meet the national standard and ask for a sales voucher from the manufacturers for any future check by the government supervision department. The rule says that retailers who use unqualified plastic bags will be issued a warning, ordered to destroy the bags or fined up to RMB30000. The rule states that retailers must mark the price of the plastic bags on their sales voucher, but must not include the price of the bags as part of the goods purchased by the consumers. The rule says violators of this will be fined up to RMB5000.

Regarding agricultural markets where the supervision is hard to monitor, the rule points out that all agricultural markets and commodity exchange markets must make a unified purchase and sales of plastic bags, and mark their price in prominent places. In addition, they should keep a record of the plastic bag purchases for checking. The rule says those who don’t follow this will be fined up to 20000.

Last year on Easter I was teaching little kids about Easter eggs, the Easter bunny and marshmallow peeps, carefully skirting around the religious aspect of the holiday as I was instructed to do in my contract. For a holiday that essentially exists because of one specific event, there was surprisingly little curiosity as to why the holiday in Chinese literally translates as “come back to life day.” I guess Chinese students are taught to take things at face value and never really question the origin or truth of things, especially when it comes from a teacher. Children around the world are notorious for always asking the question “why?” to the point of annoyance and exasperation on part of their parents and teachers. However, during my one year of teaching young children in Shenzhen, I have realized that I was never once asked the question “why?”

In fact, I can remember being surprised and amused when I heard my first “weishenme?” come from the mouth of a child. It was two months ago and Andy and I were in the elevator of my apartment building. A family of 5 enters the elevator, grandma, grandpa, mom, dad and toddler. I can’t remember now what the father was saying to his little girl, but I do remember when the girl asked “weishenme?” and the parents and grandparents started chuckling, either at the cuteness or the silliness, I don’t know. The laughter at her innocent “why?” made me flashback to my second visit in China as I was perusing the tourist shops in the canal city of Suzhou. A shop owner was showing a friend and me two silk prints, one was 100 kuai, one was 80 kuai. My Chinese was still very rudimentary at the time, but I wanted to know why the price was different, so I ask “weishenme?” The shop owner, his wife, and all the people that were sitting outside immediately started laughing. Some even began mimicking me “weishenme, weishenme!” To this day I still don’t know whether they were laughing at my “why?” or simply the way I said it. Either way, I do know that “why” is a question rarely asked in China.

Metro goers heading east on the 1 line at 4:30 pm last Saturday watched in bemusement and maybe some consternation as the crowd of twenty-something, inebriated and mostly Americans belted out “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” loudly, unabashedly yet amazingly on-key, fulfilling in that instant every stereotype harbored by foreigners against Americans. They are loud, they always wear jeans and sneakers, and they sure love this sport called baseball.

On March 15 and 16, the LA Dodgers and San Diego Padres came to Beijing to play two matches. The relatively cheap tickets -starting at 80 kuai ($11.32)- were quickly “sold out” for both games, which was half a marketing gimmick and half the result of corporate buy outs. In truth, there were still large sections of empty seats that defied the “sold-out” label, and our friend Jack who did advertising for the event told us that by the 5th inning, free tickets were being handed out to anyone with a Western face. However, the turnout on that sunny, spring weekend was still phenomenal. The 12,000 people that attended the games over last Saturday and Sunday were fully aware that they were participating in a historical experiment; the Wukesong Stadium will be the official baseball venue for the 2008 Olympics. The matches were not just an MLB breakthrough in expanding the sport to China, but an initial test of Beijing’s ability to host the Games in terms of infrastructure, coordination, security and assembly of thousands of avid sports fans in one spot. Unfortunately, this first test did not bode well for Beijing.

To start, the Wukesong stadium was touted as being a renovated and modern baseball stadium, worthy of being an Olympic venue. However, at first sight we were immediately filled with trepidation as to the safety of the stadium, which looked, as one friend commented, “like it was built out of tinker toys and finished yesterday.” Granted that it probably will never be used for baseball again after the Olympics -especially in light of the fact that this year’s Olympics will be the last time baseball is an official sport- we were still quite thankful that our seats were in the third row and not the nose-bleeds. We also learned later that management had rectified the field’s dying, brown grass by spray painting it green. From MLB.com, this is what players said about it:

“It looked like [artificial] turf when I first stepped on it,” said infielder Ramon Martinez. Manager Joe Torre said that the field appeared to be “quick but fine — I don’t think it’s dangerous. It will be like playing on turf — a ball in the gap will go to the wall.”

Secondly, logistics and management for the game on Saturday failed miserably. The game started at 1 o’clock, yet at this time only 10% of the audience was actually inside the stadium. The rest were standing in unmoving long lines, growing increasingly disgruntled and frustrated at the immobility. 75% of the spectators were still waiting to get in when muffled cheers broke out at 1:15 signaling that the teams had taken the field. The culprit? Poorly planned security measures and only one small entrance for thousands of spectators. By 1:30 security was all but abandoned as the guards just started waving people in through the metal detectors in one continuous stream of beeping. Water bottles ceased to be a security threat, and my bottle of soup was only curiously examined before being put back in my bag. We finally got to our seats at the beginning of the third inning.

Beijing did get lucky in one way however, the weather was undeniably beautiful -clear, blue, sunny, breezy, intoxicating. The crowd was full of energy and excitement, cheering at pretty much everything. Although the Chinese don’t know the rhythms to “We will Rock You,” and other clapping melodies, often messing up the rhythm for the rest of us, they were quite good at the “wave” and soon learned to yell “charge!” at the end of one particular melody. American traditions were a little distorted as Korean cheerleaders came onto the field in between innings and did a few booty-wiggling routines to Beyonce wearing glittering red undies and cowboy boots, and most of the audience watched in puzzlement when “Friar Boogie,” the Padres’ mascot, came onto the field doing pelvic thrusts and more booty wiggling.

The event was coated with multiple layers of meaning and significance: it was an MLB breakthrough, an important display of cultural exchange, a preliminary test of Beijing Olympic infrastructure, a worrisome potential public platform for protests and demonstrations, a PR blitzkrieg. It was all of these things, but for the group of young Americans singing on the subway after the game, it was simply a fun time and a taste of home.

This is what the government controlled Chin. press is saying about the protests in the “Roof of the World,” the spiritual seat of a religion that preaches peace, poverty and passivity, a religion that has certainly floundered into flaws and corruption like every other institution -religious or political- in the history of the world, but one that certainly cannot be accused of instigating violence and aggression nor does its leader deserve the vilifications and abuse that spout from the mouths of government officials like rancid vomit intent on poisoning the thoughts of every Chin. individual and leaving no room for truth…any truth…about anything.

Propagandized and falsified articles like the one below are the only news that reaches the general Chin. public, with the result that the average Chin. individual will grimace every time the spiritual leader’s name is said aloud, accompanied by the assertive declaration that he is “not a good guy.”

Printed in the Xinhua News, translated by me:

Overseas Chinese Organization Issued a Statement Condemning the “Mar. 14″ Incident.
Xinhua News Online, XZ Channel 2008-03-16
　　
Moscow – March 16, 2008

The North and South Chinese Chambers of Commerce in Moscow issued a joint statement vehemently condemning the handful of people who have recently been engaged in beating, smashing, looting and sabotage in [the capital of XZ], disturbing the social order and endangering the people’s lives and property.

The statement cites, “this incident was premeditated, organized and meticulously engineered by the DLLM Clique to destroy the stability and unity of XZ society, a completely illegal act.

The statement continues, “The XZ people of all ethnic groups express indignation and severe condemnation toward this incident. Overseas expatriates in Russia and their XZ brothers are together in firmly condemning this action and are resolute in safeguarding XZ’s social stability, the lives and property of all XZers, and the security and unity of the Chinese motherland.

In [capital of XZ] on the 14th of March, a very small number of people engaged in beating, smashing, looting and sabotage activities. Owing to the proper handling and effective measures legally adopted by the XZ Autonomous Region’s concerned departments, at present the sabotage activities have been suppressed and social order in XZ is gradually stabilizing.

旅俄华人社团发表声明谴责“3•14”事件

新华网西藏频道 2008-03-16　　　稿件来源：新华网

新华网莫斯科３月１６日电 莫斯科中国北方华人商会、莫斯科中国南方商会１５日联合发表声明，强烈谴责极少数人近日在拉萨进行打、砸、抢、烧破坏活动，扰乱社会秩序，危害人民群众生命财产安全。

声明说，这一事件是达赖集团有组织、有预谋、精心策划的破坏西藏社会安定团结的非法活动。

声明说，西藏各族群众对这一事件表示强烈愤慨和严厉谴责。旅俄侨胞和西藏同胞一样，坚决谴责这一行径，坚决维护西藏的社会稳定，维护西藏各族群众生命财产安全，维护祖国的安全和统一。

拉萨１４日发生了极少数人打、砸、抢、烧破坏活动。由于西藏自治区有关部门依法采取有效措施予以妥善处置，目前，破坏活动已基本平息，拉萨社会秩序趋于稳定。（完）

And here is another juicy tidbit from another article:

Since March 10, 2008, a small number of Budd. monks and nuns have illegally been stirring up trouble in [capital of XZ] doing their utmost to create social upheaval. This is due to the DLLM Cliques’s meticulously engineered plot to split XZ from the motherland and destroy the stability, harmony and daily life affairs of Chinese people of all nationalities. On March 14 in particular, a few outlaws organized in [capital of XZ] and premeditatedly went on a rampage beating, smashing, looting, burning, killing and carrying out other forms of violence. They set fire to schools, hospitals, children’s centers, office and residential buildings. The violence lashed at administrative units of the party and government, enterprises and business organizations, cars were burned, property pillaged, and several innocent people killed.

Today was the last work day before Spring Festival (We all had to work through the weekend to make up for the days that we miss on vacation), and as a Spring Festival treat, we had a special company lunch with the entire staff. I love Chinese food, but I like the putong (common) stuff. Chicken, lamb, fish, shrimp, pork, veggies, beef, tofu, rice and noodles are delicious, and I love to eat them. I am not a fan, however, of the rare, exotic and expensive “delicacies” the Chinese eat on special occasions, Spring Festival being such a one. The lunch today included specialties such as duck blood (in brown-red cubes), cuttlefish, sea slug, sea sponge, pig’s feet, jellyfish, and some other unidentifiable sea creatures. I ate it, but felt bad when someone pointed out that I didn’t finish my 100 kuai cup of seafood concoction soup. I ate a third of it! At least I can get away with saying “chi bu guan,” a half-polite way of apologizing for not eating the food, which essentially means “I’m not in the habit of eating this.”

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this in a blog before, but Dickinson Magazine wants to do an issue on China, focusing on the increasing number of new grads that are moving to this part of the world immediately after graduation. Andy, Pete and I, being probably the most quintessential examples of this trend, will be featured.

As Andy is such a good photographer, he was asked by Dickinson to provide photos of the three of us to be published in the magazine. So, one sunny, blue sky day (two so far for 2008 using the Devi Visibility Standard, which is not rigged or manipulated by the Chinese gov’t), the three of us, accompanied by Andy’s sister who is in China for the semester, and her friend, trek out to take some pictures.

Close by to our apartment complex there happens to be an empty construction site where an old school used to stand. We were actually able to witness the entire demolition process since we walked/drove by it everyday to get home. Now nothing is left, just a large, empty piece of land with a big 8 foot concrete wall surrounding it. (China loves its walls). The wall itself is covered in graffiti done by art students, and has some interesting themes, and of course, there is the skyline of the Central Business District in the background, complete with the impossible looking, grey hunks of tilting metal that will soon be the face of Beijing, the CCTV tower*.

Andy’s artistic vision is to get inside the construction site to capture the contrast between the demolition of the old, and creation of the new. Not as agile as I used to be, getting over an 8 foot wall has now become quite difficult, in fact impossible, for me to do on my own. Andy had to grab my hands at pull me up himself, which was actually quite impressive. When Andy helped the last girl get over the wall in the same way, she didn’t quite exactly get the delicate balancing act involved, and decided to lean back to get her feet on the wall, pulling Andy forward, which resulted in the almost death (or serious injury) of both people. I just have to say that my heart skipped a beat when I almost watched both of them plummet off the wall, but luckily, balance was regained and no hospital visits needed. Still…the things we do for a cool picture…

*This picture is a month old. The two pillars of the CCTV Tower have already been connected

Last night was the final performance of the 42nd Street China tour. Instead of attending the final show, partying all night and then taking the train back to Beijing this morning, I made the tough decision of staying in Beijing last night to hang out with Andy, watch a movie, listen to Christmas music, soak in the tub and eat pizza (Not necessarily in that order).

It was a wonderfully relaxing night, and it struck me that Phase 1 of this job is over. I lasted three grueling months of no weekends, working 16 hour days, traveling all the time, and now it is all over…until the next show.

This period of calm that started today was all the more striking when I looked out the window to find a blanket of white on the ground and flakes swirling through the air. It snowed!

This is in fact the first time I have seen snow in a year and a half, plus the first time I’ve seen snow in China. I forgot just how quiet everything seems to get when it snows. Maybe because people decide to stay in side, or snow just muffles noise, when I walked out to go to work this morning, everything was so calm and peaceful and perfect. I feel my winter vacation started today!

10 more days until my English Christmas!

　　Last Tuesday I went on a business trip to Tianjin (the “42nd Street” tour’s last stop in China) to give a lecture introducing Broadway and its history to a group of middle schoolers. The lecture was at Nankai Middle School, which is pretty famous in China and has a campus as big and well-manicured as many colleges in the States. It’s fun doing these lectures, because reporters come and then your name is in the papers the next day. Reporting on my lecture this time around, the journalist must have either forgotten, or thought it too difficult or inconvenient, to include my last name, and for some odd reason it is in all caps. So, when reading the article, you see DEVI blahablakhaabalhakhafhDEVIblahahljabkafhDEVI blahaljblakhblahalblahljabl.

Here is a paragraph of the article in question that I have translated for your reading pleasure. Remember, this is an article from a Chinese journalist’s point of view, and the quote is not entirely accurate.

“During the lecture to the students (At Nankai Middle School), DEVI enthusiastically introduced the plot line and principal actors of the show. She also played a few short video clips. DEVI says: the Broadway story [meaning the 42nd Street story] is by no means complicated, it is a story of an ordinary nobody who has a fighting spirit and works hard to achieve her dream, it [the story] has a “play within a play” characteristic. DEVI’s thorough and patient explanation uncovered the show’s mysterious veil.

I have taken a big step in making Beijing a second home for me -I have found a church!

Last week I was told I had a meeting at 11 am on Sunday, and being the dutiful office slave that I am (not nearly so much as the other Chinese people in the office, thankfully) I went to the meeting toting my 42nd Street brochures and prepared to promote the show, although I had no idea where I was going or who I was meeting. It turned out that we were meeting someone from the Beijing International Christian Fellowship, and meeting him at the church right before the 11:30 am service.

I was completely taken aback when I found at we were at a church, because I had expected this to be a meeting with commercial purposes. I took the opportunity to attend the service, since I hadn’t been to church in a while, and it turned out to be fantastic!

I rediscovered how wonderful it is to be in an environment with other people who share your faith. Plus, the service was protestant-nondenominational, and took me back to the golden VBCC days when the church was so full of life and we were so involved. It felt right to be there, and I left feeling happy at the prospect of re-integrating myself into a church community.

Anyway, I have to cut this short because my staff meeting is starting (an hour after it was scheduled) Yes, it is 7 pm on a Sunday evening. Where is my day of rest? This is what happens when you work in an environment that doesn’t respect religion.

When I walked into Italian class this morning I was informed by a frantic Professor that I was going to be taking over the class, along with another one of her more advanced students. Apparantly her son was sick and her husband couldn’t take care of him, and she was sick as well, so she decided to leave today’s review session in our capable (?) hands. Before she left, she handed me some papers and instructed me to go over them with the class. Only one section of the paper had an answer key, so I just had to assume that my answers were all correct, though I can confidently say they were.

Upon realization that there was no professor in class, several students left (no offense taken, I might have done the same if I hadn’t been put in charge). I’m actually surprised as many students stayed as they did- the majority of the class- but I’m sure that’s only because there’s a quiz next class, and today was the review.

It was a bit chaotic at first- I couldn’t get the class to pay attention, people were chatting, disregarding me, doing the crossword, etc. It got better as the class went on but, being a fellow classmate and not in charge of their grades, it was a lot harder for me to get people to pay attention and answer the questions. I even got some dirty looks when I corrected people’s pronunciation, etc.

Going over the work went well; the students had a lot of questions and I think I was rather good at answering them in ways they could understand. I only messed up once: I thought “di solito” meant “by him/her self” when it actually means “usually.” I corrected myself eventually, though, and hopefully the rest of the class was paying attention when I did.

I also had a bit of an embarassing moment. We had to read a dialogue between two people, then complete a “fill in the blank” exercise about the dialogue. One of the sentences read:

“Oscar vuole andare a ___________ Mabel in macchina.”

which literally translates to:

“Oscar wants to go ___________ Mabel in (his) car.”

The correct answer is ____prendere___ which would make the answer, “Oscar wants to go pick up Mabel in his car.”

The class was having a hard time getting the answer, however, so I had the unfortunate lack of foresight to say, “Come on, guys, what does Oscar want to do to Mabel in his car?”

Which, of course, set on bouts of crude laughter from the students.

We got through the class without further incident, however, and I’m pleased to say I think I did a decent job. I had a few students thank me profusely for explaining things in English (our professor speaks only Italian), and one student even said he learned more today than he had all semester.