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Ok, so I think it is time to go over one more of my fantasies. We heard about the socks, the caniwulf (and we even got to watch more Vampire shows this weekend, which just reinforced that fantasy). I guess I probably have a lot of fantasies since I am kind of a dreamer dog, I spend most of my time on top of my kennel looking out the window thinking about how I am flying over them all and spot peeing on the people I don’t like.

But my new fantasy is a Lilliputian one- and it all started because of the weird visual tricks that happen when dad walks down the stairs. Check it out- it looks like he has shrunk to just his head and I am as big as he is!!! Needless to say, I started freaking out and running around in circles and pawing at his head and licking him through the posts. I thought he really shrank it was really cool! I was a little disappointed when he came back up the stairs.

So now I want a world full of little people. I have noticed other little people at the park and elsewhere, and I always want to play with them or check them out, but their owners won’t let them play with dogs, something about getting muddy… I don’t know. I think mom and dad should get a little person for me to play with.

As you can see from my: aroo? face: Halloween is coming and mom is planning on making me wear clothes! Apperently, she got a forward of all these dogs dressed in costumes and she wants to do it to me too. I mean, I am already in costume- I am a caniwulf! But no one understands me, it is so sad.

 

Dad is bemused, too: mom wants to go for themed outfits. She has thought of pirates, mermaids, and dominoes (whatever that is). Well, our family is going to look crazy! I thought a good theme for all of us would have been wolf family, but I couldn’t convince that one to go through. Dad thinks knight, princess, steed, but I don’t want to be a steed.

 

Well, this all comes down to one thing, though: last year at the house, a few weeks before I showed up, mom and dad through a big Halloween bash for all the Rhodes; and the question is, do we want to host it again this year? And if so, are we going to need co-hosts, etc? Well, I think we better get on the ball deciding, I would love to be running around a party- that sounds great! But we’ll see.

 

Woof!

 

PS Thanks for all the comments! Keep up the good work.

I wish I were as strong as my dad- when we play tug of war he can pick me all the way up by the ball I am holding in my mouth! Even at night, I can’t push him off of bed, even though he can push me to my spot (see previous posts). Soon I’ll be big enough…

Anyway, its early, and I am a sleepy dog, so back to bed with mom for me- I can’t believe dad gets up this early… yuck!

Last night mom, dad, and I watched a movie called Lady in the Water- sort of a wierd fairytale movie by some guy called Shamylan. Anyway, in the movie were these crazy grass wolves called “Scrunts” (as pictured above), which, quite frankly, really annoyed me. I mean, what kind of dog is going to break the rules of nature just to attack some little girl? Seems stupid to me, I mean, unless the attack was to turn the girl from weak human skin job to a glorious dog fur creature, like a caniwulf, but that wasn’t the case, the scrunt was just mean. I pricked up my ears and got into attack position every time I heard the scrunt thing growl or bark… Don’t tell anyone, but it sort of freaked me out, every dog I know is very nice and didn’t act like that meany-head.

Needless to say, this brought me into comparison with the caniwulf- now I believe the caniwulf to be noble creatures, of the woods who like their freedom, etc. Of course, there are horror movies with these things, and they are shot by silver bullets and are monsters, etc. But that isn’t how it really is. Oh, and as far as I know, they don’t eat kids, why would they eat kids? I think it is all just a horrible smear campaign by the left wing socialists of this country who hate all things different…

The scrunt, on the other hand, has a back made of grass, red eyes, and is able to lie flat on the ground so humans don’t see him, he just looks like a lump of grass. He is a master of stealth, not moving unless he is absolutely sure that he can’t be seen. Pretty cool, yes, but not when they are blood thirsty killer monster wolves!

But things brings me to my next point, the scrunt in the movie was a rogue scrunt. Most scrunts obey the laws of nature, which means not killing and maiming, etc. So now I think that both caniwulfs, werewolves, and scrunts all have a bad image in TV and books because of the rouge, lawless ones that are portrayed in them. Seriously, have you ever seen a werewolf, caniwulf, or a scrunt in real life?

No? Of course you haven’t, they are peaceful creatures of the woods, obeying the laws of nature, I mean a few bad apples here and there have given us a bad image, but that is it! I mean, who are you to say that a few bad humans haven’t left a bad image on us? But we are still your best friend after all…

Woof!

It is the best time of year for a puppy- spring! This is my first spring, and I hardly even know what to do with myself! I mean, it is amazing- grass is green and growing, there are tons of animals, we go outside more, the weather is warm, and the sun is glorious! Forgot what I said about caniwulf- the moon is nothing compared to the sun! It is warm and glorious, and I just love to bask in it. I sleep in it whenever I can, and if there is a spot that is shining in the house (the backpart, because the house faces north/south, and we are such a high latitude that sunshine, those strips of sun that lie on the carpet or the floor, are found where the windows that face the backyard are, and there are only two good ones of those, one in the dining room, one in the office.) If I find a strip of sun, I just plop down in it, and in less than 30 seconds I am passed out. It is amazing. Back in the winter I had to lie next to the heaters in the hallways!

I love going outside now, the weather is so good- it is making me crazy. I run around barking my head off, I am constantly jumping and trying to play, I do my crazy dance whenever I can, then I find myself a sunstrip and plop down to nap before I get up and do it again. Its the springtime crazies! I also haven’t been eating much food. Grandpa says that his dogs aren’t eating much either and its just because its spring (see the last post about pickyness).

CRAZY CRAZY SPRINGTIME WOOF! Now where is the sun?

I take great exception to this- I mean, just a person shape shifts? Not withstanding that I think I am a real boy, I do understand that I am of the race dog, not a pink fleshy human. And I am closer to wolf than they are! I mean is it fair that a person can become a werewolf and not a dog?

For instance, I am intrigued by the full moon- I love it. When we go out to potty at night, I can see everything because the air is so clear in Oxford- there are so many stars and the moon looks SO big because it is winter and we are at a higher latitude. It is beautiful. On the one occassion that I was in Port Meadow at night, the full moon was tremendous as we watched the sun set and the moon rise. All the water sparkled, and it felt like I was in a different place.

Often I will sit on my mom’s lap as she reads or writes her essays to stare out the window of the office at the full moon. People can walk by, cars can drive past, fireworks can go off- but the moon is the most important. The only thing that can distract me is another dog- and that is mostly just to make sure they are not a wolf, or a weredog. (Or maybe to see if they are a ladydog…)

I haven’t howled at the moon yet- I don’t really know what that means. All I know is that dad said I should howl when I see the moon. I think he said it jokingly when we were outside one night and I was looking at it rather than doing my business so he could go to bed. However, I have never heard a “howl” and I don’t really know what one is. All I know is how to make the tuantaun sound I heard on The Empire Strikes Back. I did that at the moon, but it didn’t seem very weredog to me.

There are no references to weredog in any encyclopedia. I suppose this is because wer comes from old Germanic English meaning “man” hence- werewolf is “Man -Wolf”. A better term for what I aspire to be would be “Caniwolf” from Canine. This would actually be ideal for me: I want so much to be a wolf, but like I said before, English weather and the lack of kennel (den), food, and radiators would be crappy wolf times. But the night there are full moons there is beautiful weather, and I could be a wolf and run free at night, and then be a dog in the daytime, loved by humans. I would bite other wolf-aspiring dogs, but not eat them because I just want to help them. And rather than ravage virgins (??? What is this, it was in the encyclopedia, so I just repeat it) I would eat toast! It is the perfect solution!

Hello, or should I say woof! My name is Winston Jacob Bengfort, otherwise known as Wraggles, Wrinkles, Winny, Win, bad dog!, Such a Puppy, Sit, Winston MacWraggles, Wrinkle MacWinston, Good Boy, or Come Here. why a dog needs so many names, I don’t know- I suspect it has to do with my mom who seems to come up with a new one every day!

Today, after a long walk in the rain, I decided that I should start my own blog. For one, it keeps me out of the rain- and for two I am four months old! I feel like I should be doing something with my life other than just sitting around sleeping, and looking for food. And since I am an English dog with American parents, I figure that I am just as interesting if not more than those other dogs in the park. So here it is- the world from my perspective (or at least the world as viewed from behind my ears).

I suppose I should introduce myself a little bit first- since many of you who are reading this have yet to meet me. My two main ambitions in life are getting toast- the most wonderful substance in all the world! And to become a wolf. I have been trying to get my mom and dad to run with me like a pack, but every time I get about three feet away, I get yanked back by that dang leash.

Which brings me to an interesting subject- the leash. Do wolves have leashes? I think not! And yet, every time I see the leash I get so excited. I don’t know why- I mean, I love walks as much as the next guy- a chance to see the worlds, meet other dogs, go to the park to eat cow poo, and jump on pedestrians! But when I see that leash, I go mad because I know that it will keep me from running into the road or jumping into mud or playing with bigger dogs and all those fun things.

I yearn for freedom. Every day that the kennel door opens when my dad wakes me up at 6 AM, I bolt out of it- not because I have to potty, or because I am going to get food, but because I am finally free! It is my den, however, so I do go back in and nap while dad makes coffee. I mean, have you tried to potty outside at 6 am in English weather? I don’t think so. When mom closes the door to the office so she can work, I sit at the door waiting, watching, ready to get out. Just so I can sit at the top of the stairs and look down, because I can. (Then I run to tear something else up, or grab socks and hide under the bed!)