Bengfort.com

Thoroughly recovered from my first week’s illness, I have begun studying the culture and rhythm of Mumbai by reading, exploring, interacting, and observing. What I have unearthed, even just below the surface, is a striking variety of contradictions that amalgamate into the chaos that is modern day India. These contradictions have spawned in me the beginnings of a sort of love-hate relationship with India’s most cosmopolitan city, enriched by the experiences that come from living here.

It is easy to see why India is so confused. Much of its current developmental state is the result of British imperial rule, a legacy that many try hard to resist. The same reasons why India has become so competitive- namely, the fluency of a large segment of its population in English (though much smaller than I had expected coming to India), an infrastructure built for trade, and the urbanization of its major cities- are the result of this oppression. Thus, India struggles to reconcile its desire to develop, modernize and compete with its commitment to the Ghandian principles of swadeshi (self-reliance) and a village-based social and political system. Even the names Bombay and Mumbai demonstrate this contradiction. In politics, those who use the name Bombay tend to advocate for a more open, modern and worldly India, while those who exclusively use the term Mumbai tend to be more nationalist, right-wing and India-centric.

What results is a system of governance and culture that is so full of complexities, corruption and confusion that for many years people believed that its unimpressive record of economic growth- coined the Hindu rate of growth- was simply inextricable from the Indian culture. Indira Ghandi herself said that nothing could be done about corruption, as it was natural and occurred everywhere. Despite the fact that (in my humble opinion) Indira Ghandi was a terrible ruler who led India down a path of economic and political failure it almost didn’t recover from, the idea that corruption is natural seems to have stuck. And this, as Indian breaks free of its bureaucratic stranglehold and enters a period of impressive economic growth, may be its fatal flaw.

This idea is seen in the way businesses are handled. At the most basic level, shops in Mumbai will do anything to try to get a sale- lie, cheat, guilt trip, pressure, intimidate. Even in more professional businesses, reputation does not matter. The concept of fairness does not matter. There is no such thing as building good relationships with your clients or partners or trying to develop a good reputation to ensure future business, and it doesn’t matter. Corruption is expected, so no business is lost. People are used to it.

Fun to look at- not so much to shop at!

On the other hand, the Indians I’ve met in non-transaction settings are some of the most warm, friendly and sociable people I’ve ever met. They are welcoming, giving, and will do almost anything to help someone they’ve only just become acquainted with. Despite its flaws, they are fiercely proud of their democracy. They are the best neighbors, coworkers and friends. I’ve even developed good relationships with some of the local businesses by Vyoma’s apartment by actually leaving tips (only 50 [american] cent tips, but trust me- it’s not a stereotype, Indians are extremely cheap. Anybody who worked at a restaurant in the States will also confirm this.) I am now treated like a queen whenever I eat at these places.

As I attempt to navigate the chaos that is India, these people are my guides. Aside from its beauty, and despite its contradictions, they are what make India great.

After heated discussions at home and over email, much searching, and proposal after counterproposal, I unveil The Reading List.

• The Lazarus Project, Aleksandar Hemon
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson
• Dead Souls, Nikolai Gogal (trans. C.J. Hogarth)
• Heaven: Our Enduring Fascination with the Afterlife, Lisa Miller
• Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
• A Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin
• Blue Angel, Francine Prose
• The Ethics of Ambiguity, Simone de Beauvoir
• Daemon, Daniel Saurez
• A Passage to India, E.M. Forster
• Spies of the Balkans, Alan Furst
• Suite Francaise, Irene Nemirovsky
• Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert A. Heinlein

Thirteen books in all: a loose baggy monster* of nonfiction, literary fiction, suspense, science fiction/fantasy, and classics.  By my rough estimate, we have about 5000 pages to read, or, given thirty-five weeks, about 150 pages per week.

I also found the perfect notebooks for the bookclub today on my lunch break: two Mead spiral assignment notebooks, seven-and-one-half by five inches, with forty sheets each.  I’ve dated each sheet for a single week, and to make them more special, I’ll be doing some of my famous collaging.

Next: the syllabus!  And (ouch) the purchase.

*My professors used to refer to English I and II as “loose baggy monsters” because they were intended to cover…well, everything, with a reading list meant to satisfy everyone a little bit.  I have no idea if this phrase is in wider use.

When one is forced to face down the possibility–the inbound reality–of months apart from a loved one, one seeks ways to stay connected.  Letters long ruled as the king of connection; email is today’s parchment and plume, but we lose something in the transition from penmanship to pixels.  (Stay with me, I can alliterate all day.)  Care packages, while welcome, are a one-way communique.  (Rhyme!)  At pre-deployment briefs, would-be helpers offer discounted “flat daddies” that can be placed at the meal table to take the place of the missing three-dimensional version.

Mail at sea can be greatly delayed, along with care packages of hopefully well-preserved goodies; email can be shut down or lost for a variety of reasons; and I somehow think Ben would find a “flat daddy” more discomfiting than not.

My solution?

Ben and I are creating a bookclub for two.

I filled out this idea yesterday, while reading about “common reading” programs on college campuses, though some version of it has been percolating in my egghead for months.  The idea at university is that inbound freshman have at least one book in common–something to unite them and serve as a source of conversation.  My idea is that Ben and I, by reading the same books at the same time, will be carrying on a sort of psychic conversation through the nexus of the words we’re experiencing together.  Even if email goes down and it’s a month or more between mail deliveries, even if I can’t make an outgoing phone call or tweet a single word, in some way, we’ll be joined.

Of course, our very different tastes in reading makes picking books a fraught operation.  We want anywhere from eight to fifteen books; right now, we’ve agreed on four (E.M. Forster’s A Passage to India, Aleksandar Hemon’s The Lazarus Project, Daniel Saurez’s Daemon, and Robert A. Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land).  One of our “rules”–that anything we pick must be available on the Kindle due to my space limitations–has only compounded the problem.  We dropped the rule that all books must be new reads for both of us (which allowed two of our choices).  Most likely, it will take a few trips to the bookstore in the end, since we’ve pretty effectively shopped our own shelves at this point.

What else remains to make the bookclub a success?

-More books (obviously).

-A syllabus…I’ll take care of that!

-Notebooks.  We’ll each jot down a few thoughts on the books we read together, especially when our communication lines fail, so that we don’t forget the things we each want to discuss.

-A reining in of my book snobbishness, and a slowing down to savoring speed in Ben’s reading habits.  We’ll meet in the middle.

I plan to post the full list of books and syllabus as a guide for others who want to try this gambit to close the miles during long times apart.  Take that, sword.

Tiger Cruise

When I mentioned to friends that I was going on a Tiger cruise, they thought it was some exotic, exciting vacation involving tigers. Although, it was enjoyable and perhaps exotic in being alien to my normal life on land, it was not your typical luxury cruise. (Or so I believe, since I have never actually gone on one). So, what is a Tiger Cruise? When a Navy ship is coming home from deployment or leaving for deployment, they give relatives a chance to meet the ship and cruise the rest of the way home with them (provided they are not the sponsor’s spouse or significant other, are not younger than 8 or pregnant. The relatives are called “Tigers.” So I jumped at the opportunity and privilege provided by my sponsor and the Navy to board a Missile Destroyer and became Tiger Lily.

On our first meeting, Tigers were given a “Personnel Qualification Standards” or PQS which are typically training requirements used by the Navy but was designed to familiarize us with the operation, daily routine, and capabilities of the ship. It was three pages long and to be completed in the amount of time we were on board using the tours and exercises that were scheduled. There were spaces for the signatures of the sponsor, cruise coordinator and commanding officer to be signed and qualify you as a TIGER SURFARE WARFARE SPECIALIST (TSWS).

Of course, this was for a fun activity and not a requirement but being the lifelong learners and overachievers that we are, our sailor ensured that we saw and learned everything on the PQS including the bridge/navigation (we proudly watched her communicating on the bridge as the ship was docking), weapons (I donned the Search and Seizure outfit

60lbs of gear worn by VBSS teams to climb stairs,board ships, jump out of helos

and held the M16 and we brought home CWIS shells that were shot and are now a pencil holder at my office), Engineering and Damage control (we stood watch with her) and Combat Information Center where I learned that AEGIS is not an acronym. Well, of course we qualified as TSWS and so did all the other Tigers whether they touched the PQS or not. Nevertheless, Tim and I learned a lot and received the following certificate from the CO: 

“To all who shall see these presents, greetings: Know ye, that by the authority vested in me, I hereby designate (my name), an honorary crew member of (Navy Ship)……having born the appropriate pride in all Tiger activities, provided countless hours of loving support to crewmembers and having demonstrated a constitution worthy of distinction. (Signed Commanding Officer).

This certificate now sits in an honored place in my office along with the pictures of the real crewmember and other people close to my heart.

In addition to learning a lot about the ship, I was very happy that I recalled the Girl Scout motto about packing only what you can carry…but I did not realize it would be through narrow stairs where the cover is down for those below deck. This means carrying person and luggage through a hole the size of about a 3 ft circumference. I also should have realized that the water during any season is always cool and I should pack a lot of warm clothes. I was happy for my 3 layers which I wore every day plus the sweatshirt I bought on the ship. The captain joked that his mother kept his room at 125 degrees.

So future Tiger Cruisers: Take layers with several underlayers, a jacket, a ballcap (forget about hair), shower shoes, towel, washcloth, warm sleepwear, comfortable close toed shoes, Dramamine taken whether seasick or not, a camera and a small durable bag. Remember, the quarters are quite close and the movement of the ship can make for a queasy challenge (although our sail was apparently the smoothest they remember and I did not get sick). The families sleep in bunks just like the sailors and eat in the same Mess or wardroom as the sailor.

While onboard, I ate three full meals a day (unusual for me)…and was pleasantly surprised by the food. There were other activities, in addition to experiencing the numerous activities the sailors performed on a daily basis. These included the weapons systems in operation, a RIB demonstration and race, an anchoring, and a small boat attack simulation. In addition, there were Morale, Welfare, and Recreation-sponsored activities for the entire crew including a karaoke night (where the Captain’s mom, myself and two other moms set the bar pretty low), a movie in the hangar night,, a night for officers to cook (Pizza and chicken wings), a beach party on deck where the Chiefs grilled burgers and brats. In addition, there were 13 burials at Sea with the full military honors, and a crew award ceremony. It was great to see a very personable captain and an XO who seemed to enjoy having civilians on board. In response to my thanks and comment about the Tiger Cruise being a very wonderful experience, the Xo said, “To be honest, we have more fun showing off our ship to you.”

Well, the Navy does have very good PR people (including our crewmember who made us very proud)…and they did accomplish what they set out to do. It was very worthwhile. Not only did we get to see our crew member, but we saw what an awesome ship the DDG is and why our crewmember requested this as her first post. We cruised out to sea and they put on a fantastic show, we saw whales and seals, and they fed us well and we had a great time. And best of all we can picture our crewmember when she is deployed and understand a little better what life is like for her at sea. Go Navy.

Well, Bravo is kicking off it series on the next installment of the Housewives series with Real Housewives of DC. Bravo describes these ladies as “connected DC Power players who “have their pulse on the most important cultural events, political galas, gallery openings, and fundraisers in Washington society. They are supposed to be an interesting bunch, living adventurous lives.
I don’t know if these ladies are representative of DC…but they all live in the DC burbs as I do, all are about my age and I can’t imagine that their life is any more interesting and adventurous than mine has been this past month.
If my life were a television show, the setting for the various episodes would have been a Hon Fest in Baltimore, the diplomatic rooms of the State Department, the Rose Garden of the White House, the flight deck of a US Navy Destroyer and a Zoey Muth concert in Seattle…all in one month.

Just think of the ratings and script possibilities:

• Hon Fest: Technically this is not DC (Baltimore-Washington) but for an important cultural event, it can’t be beat. Honfest in Baltimore celebrates the historic working women of Baltimore with the dressing and wearing of Beehive hairdos. While the hon fest I was referring to actually took place at Martin’s West, (and I say this with all the affection for the very nice and honoring event), a Housewife episode of beehive hairdos and this festival would have delighted fans. A smashing of beehive would make for better TV than tugging at an Atlanta housewife’s blonde wig, or perhaps the nesting of a bird (Bethany’s hair notwithstanding) causes pandemonium. (Captures the working class audience).

• Diplomatic Room of the State Department: The Benjamin Franklin Room and the view of DC from the Balcony can’t be beat since you get to see all of the Monuments, Memorials, the Capitol, White House all in one view and be entertained where countless powerful people from all over the world have been entertained.
• The White House –an actual invitation to the White House, listening to President Obama and greeting him in the Rose Garden. No Party Crashing necessary. Try “leiing”the President and watch him take it off almost instantaneously. (Must be some Presidential Protocol or Security thing..even though he is from Hawaii.)
• Military personnel and their families would have been tuned in to the episode of the Tiger Cruise where a housewife sees what it’s like to be a woman on a Navy Destroyer. The only crashing would have been the waves, and the potential for it with the staged Visitor Board Search and Seizure exercise. But it would make for entertaining television to watch the head knocking on a lot of steep stairs (ladders) especially the stairs below deck. The show could have been staged with high heels and skirts. (Alas, there is already a movie that has been made of a naval carrier with civilians on board being ordered in combat mode.) In addition, the opportunity to debut a new song like the two other housewives who cannot sing (Tardy at the Party etc.) was possible at the Karaoke night on ship or as the wake up song played every morning. Imagine a duet called Captain and Tenille….Never Mind. More on Tiger Cruise to follow.
• Perhaps the next DC Housewife aspiring singing performance could have been in the Tractor Tavern in Seattle with a country-flavored & blues-infused contemporary folk song ala EILEN JEWELL and ZOE MUTH & THE LOST HIGH ROLLERS. A surprise twist would include going on stage for an impromptu duet (which occurred) or trio….
According to Bravo, the cast “leading members of D.C. society are in the know and comfortable discussing everything from the economy to high fashion.” Well, I can do that…..but I am NOT “the talk of the town in the most powerful city in the world.” Thank God!

The aforementioned Beijing-Mumbai deathmatch (as Andy put it) will have to be postponed until I get a chance to see downtown Mumbai, so for now I will talk about my experiences adjusting to life in India.

First of all, it’s hot. Hot, and more humid than I have ever experienced. There is only one moment in the day where I am not covered in sweat and stickiness, and that’s the five minutes I take in our blissful cold-water shower in the morning. The second I step outside of it, I’m covered in sweat and stick again. No air-conditioning of course, so breeze is my only source of comfort. At night, Vyoma and I share a bed in front of the window, sleeping only on the mattress with no sheets or blankets (except to cover the mattress), so as to keep ourselves cool. I woke up with a bad cold this morning (though thanks to several Indian remedies and medicine provided by Vyoma, I’m already starting to feel better) which added to the discomfort. I’ve given up on wearing makeup because it all melts off anyway, and my hair has settled into a very stylish ball of poof that attracts birds who may be searching for a place to nest.

All of this aside, I am really enjoying living here. I am learning how to handle the heat and humidity, and it bothers me less and less every day. The food is absolutely wonderful, and I am eating a very healthy vegetarian diet so I feel good about myself and my body. I’ve tried many new things from Paan to several different types of Chaat to kichiri (sp?) this morning for my cold. Vyoma and I have fun cooking together (she teaches me about Indian food while I teach her about Italian/American cooking) and we usually go out for dinner, where we can get a full Indian meal for less than two american dollars!

I’ve started my hindi lessons, and I’m pleased to say that I enjoy them a lot and can pick it up quickly. I was happy to learn that conversational hindi and urdu are virtually identical (though I’ve heard they differ greatly at higher, more formal ways of speaking) so that I don’t really have to choose between learning one or the other.

I’ve also learned that Indian people really can’t understand my name. They just can’t hear or process Bethany, so when they try to say it, it doesn’t even come close. Vyoma suggested I introduce myself as Bethany Devi, but when I did that most people just latched on to the Devi and called me that, which I had difficulty responding to since that is usually how we address my sister. So, I’ve started introducing myself as the Indianized version of my name, which is “Bay-tun-nee”, how Mom’s family calls me anyway.

Also, I’ve been inadvertently offending people. I was warned by an Indian friend before I left to stop saying thank you so much to people, as it makes them a little uncomfortable. However, since I grew up in the United States saying thank you is just a reflex (such as when someone hands you something, etc.) and gestures of appreciation are usually welcomed. Thus, I didn’t heed the warning very well- Vyoma and I went to get dessert at a coffee shop, and as she had been doing so much for me (putting me up, letting me eat her food, and so much more) I wanted to pay for her dessert. She told me not to, that it was okay, and I said no, I want to- just take it as a thank you for all the help you’ve been giving me! Vyoma turned bright red, got incredibly offended, and said, “Don’t ever say that to me!” Apparently she understood it as me trying to pay her for her help, which she gave out of kindness, and was thus incredibly offended by it. I, who viewed it as simply a gesture of appreciation and not that she expected reciprocation, was surprised at how upset she was. It reminded me of the differences in cultures- that in the United States, kind gestures usually have a value to them, and if we do something for someone we expect that they would do the same for us, or at least make some gesture to show that they appreciate what we did for them. In India, the act of kindness isn’t for the response, but for the act itself. Perhaps it is because they believe in the karma of actions, but it struck me as truly unselfish. Anyway, I learned my lesson.

So that is a pretty good assessment of my life so far! Most of my day is spent either studying hindi, reading about India, job-searching (if anybody has any leads in a security/trade/international relations field, please let me know!), exploring Mumbai, or eating. Soon, however, thanks to Dad’s contact at the embassy, I may be doing some volunteer work for an NGO that works with orphan girls as a sort of “big sister” project, so that should be a good experience as well!

One of the fabulous perks of working in a government industry is all the comp tickets to various performances, openings, and galas that get sent to our office on pretty much a daily basis. Of course the seasoned veterans very rarely have any interest in going, but we fresh-faced interns snap up comps like m&ms (or skittles in my case, since I don’t like m&ms). Last night we experienced our first comped event, the Shanghai International Film Festival Opening Ceremony. Notified a mere day before, I was ambivalent about going, but was told by my supervisor that it would be fun, so I decided to go. The invitation e-mail stated dress code as “dark suit,” so I donned a cocktail dress for the evening. We really had no advance information about the event at all, so we were really surprised on arrival to find huge crowds around the Shanghai theater, police barricades, barrages of reporters, and a Hollywood style Red Carpet entrance. Hmm, this might be a bigger deal than we thought. After fighting through the throngs of spectators to get to the police barricades, and then presenting my ticket to get into the roped off area, I found myself adjacent to another roped off red carpet area, where Chinese celebrities in ball gowns and tuxedos were sashaying in front of reporters and photographers. I decided that I would have a better view of them if I went in to the mezzanine first and watched them come in one by one to sit. Now, I am relatively knowledgeable about Chinese celebrities compared to the average American, but by no means an expert. However, I did recognize a few big names, including Wang Lihong (Chinese pop star sensation, who was in an atrocious outfit, but still looked cute), Chen Kaige (Director of Farewell My Concubine), Jet Li (everyone knows who he is) and John Woo (Director of famous Hollywood films like Mission Impossible). Also in attendance were a lot of important governmental head honchos, including both the Mayor and Vice-Mayor of Shanghai -pretty big deals.

My fellow intern Brittany and I had fun doing Joan Rivers-style commentary on the various outfits worn by the Chinese celebrities. Chinese actresses must have some sort of rule that they all must wear copious amounts of glitter at any red carpet event. There were sparkles galore. I also think it is tacky for anyone to answer a cellphone while walking down a red carpet, which is what a few wives of foreign film directors did. Shame on them. Also interesting was the diverse levels of dressiness within the audience. The stars of course were decked out in their finest couture, but within the audience of us regular people, there was everything from evening wear, to cocktail dresses, to business casual, to jeans and t-shirts! If this were a Hollywood premier, those in jeans (unless they are super expensive designer jeans) would have been denied entrance. It was an odd juxtaposition.

Also interesting was the level of government involvement. Of course all culture-related activity in China is controlled by the Ministry of Culture, and hence government presence is unsurprising. Still, wouldn’t it be odd if at the Oscars the Mayor of LA made introductory remarks about how the film industry advances the United States’ development, progress, and international standing? And wouldn’t it be odd if protocol dictated that government bureaucrats give rambling speeches at the beginning, and be the ones to physically hand over the awards to the winners? I would think so.

Speaking of this last arrangement and its oddness, a hilarious moment did occur. The first person being honored that night was a French film-maker named Luc Besson. His name was announced, and he promptly mounted stage left just as a group of ballerinas came swirling in artistically and struck a pose with the award (a small statue) held aloft on stage right. Monsieur Besson, unsure of what to do, jokingly mimics the ballerinas’ movement and prances over to them on stage right with the intention of taking the still-held-aloft award. He reaches toward the ballerina to accept the award, but she doesn’t let go of it to let him take it. At that point, one of the government bureaucrats had been announced and was on stage left. Without a further glance at Mr. Besson, the ballerinas run past Besson and hand over the award to the government bureaucrat, leaving Besson standing on stage right. The Chinese emcees try to cover this awkward moment by complimenting Besson’s dancing prowess, and eventually the confused director makes it back to stage left to accept his award, which is handed to him by the bureaucrat. Way too complicated if you ask me, but it did make for some hilarity!

Next came a series of clips of all the films premiering this coming week. Some of them did look quite intriguing, including the Chinese film “Deep in the Clouds,” and the Iranian film “Pay Back” Perhaps more tickets will become available to check them out!

Unfortunately, the closing performance just devolved into weirdness. Showcasing performances from a “variety of cultures,” the audience was subjected to a bizarre series of two minute dances from Africa, Hungary, and India, and then closed with random foreigners lip-syncing to a Chinese song, including an African rapper that looked like he time-warped from the 1980s, and three other racially-indeterminate females (two were white, one was black, who knows who they were). It wouldn’t have been so terribly awful if it weren’t so obvious that they were lip-syncing. Ah well, it’s China! We left the theater happy that we got to see some celebrities, and an idea of some cool movies worth watching.

Yesterday was the two-week anniversary of my arrival in Shanghai. I would have loved to blog more during that two week period, but 1) I was kept really busy (10 hour work day, plus 2 hours of Chinese class twice a week), and 2) I was not entirely sure what I am allowed to say on a public forum, and what I am not. However, at our recent intern orientation (which was belatedly held until all the interns arrived), I received official confirmation that I don’t have to keep my job or my position a secret. Also, as I am in the Public Affairs Section, none of what I am doing is confidential, so I am free to give positive descriptions of my work and job-related activities provided that it advances and not detracts from the USG’s mission to promote greater understanding of U.S. values and views.

That being said, I now feel free to give you a general description of the past two weeks. My overall opinion of my internship so far has been extremely positive. I like the people, I am in a section that is right up my alley, and I have been able to use a lot of the skills I developed during my time with the Nederlanders. My primary job duties fall under the umbrella of event management, logistics, and hosting official visitors. One of my first assignments was to assist with a visit from Al Gore, who was visiting the Expo for green-tech related reasons. This was simply a “watch, follow, and learn” action for me, and it was very enlightening to see the process and detail that goes into planning a simple two hour visit. I think I spent five hours of my life in meetings, discussions, reviews, and revisions of the luncheon seating chart alone (and there were only 16 people dining!). Of course these things are very important, but I imagine that I would never want to apply for a job in the protocol office, as the planning is tedious, nitpicky, stressful, and really not at all that enjoyable from my perspective. But, it was fun to see Al Gore in person, and the staff was able to take a picture with him, and I did get a comprehensive look at behind-the-scenes life at the USA Pavilion. As learning experiences go, this one was a good experience, even though I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was fun or thrilling.

In addition to that visit, which required me to be at the Pavilion (and away from my office) for three days in a row, I -along with half of all consulate staff- are in def com planning mode for USA National Day at the World Expo. Every country at the expo has an assigned National Day, which usually coincides with each country’s respective Independence Day (or equivalent). USA National Day is July 2, and there will be several invitation-based events that day, along with off-site (i.e. not on expo grounds) activities and events throughout that entire weekend. Each event has been tasked to certain teams who are then responsible for organizing and executing it. Not only have I been assigned to work two events that weekend, but I have been given several mammoth tasks as well, including managing the 2500 person RSVP list for an evening concert, and conceptually designing and generating content for the invitations to the three invite-based events on the 2nd. Luckily, I did not have to physically design the invitations (we outsource that work to a vendor), but I did have to come up with the concept. I came up with three pretty good ideas, and have been in the room in which other people have said positive things about the designs, but to my chagrin, I don’t actually get the credit for it, which irks me greatly for some reason. I suppose I am used to being in the private sector where individual initiative and ideas are rewarded with praise as incentive for employees to continue to be creative and imaginative. Here, that is not the case. I think I got a half-hazard “nice work” buried in an email, but that has been overshadowed by critiques and criticisms of other things. In any case, it seems that the office management style is based on criticism and critique, rather than reward and praise, which I don’t think is good for creativity-based work, and certainly not good for me. I worry that I won’t be able to offer up my best work if I feel like my contributions are ignored or unappreciated, and where the only feedback is negative. Maybe I’ve only ever experienced one type of managing style, and am going through some office culture shock. Maybe competition for recognition and credit is something that is only necessary in the private sector, and not in the public sector, where it is not the basis for promotions/raises and the like. In any case, the situation requires some adaptation and understanding on my part, but for the past couple days I have been one disgruntled employee.

That negative aside, overall I am very pleased with the work I am doing. I feel that it is challenging and fun. Also, our housing is phenomenal. The interns were given two houses, one for the boys, one for the girls. There are only two girls, so the two of us are living in a three-story, four-bedroom town house with a full washer and dryer, a private backyard, and a jacuzzi tub in the master bedroom (which is mine by the way, since I came first). We also have an outdoor pool, clubhouse, and a gym. All in all, we are living it up. There are also other perks as well, including comp tickets to certain shows, and occasional gifts shared by the office. For example, PAS was given two crates full of California cherries, and everyone in the office got to take home a bag. It was wonderful! I love loving my work!

After a long and interesting trip, I finally made it to Mumbai! In order to combat the jet-lag (severe, of course compounded by the heat and humidity) I figure I’d tell the story of my journey to the motherland. If this blog stops halfway through and finishes with nonsense, it’s because I fell asleep on the keyboard. My apologies in advance!

Full of gelato and pizza, I flew out of Italy in a post-exam daze. I must have had that “I-know-what-I’m-doing” look on my face, or at least “I’m-harmless-and-won’t-bite,” because EVERYONE kept stopping to ask me directions to places in the airport, or questions about the flight, or whether they were at the right gate. After successfully making use of all of the languages I have in my arsenal, I got on the plane where I was promptly seated in the midst of a group of rowdy Indians.

Before I begin my discussion of the Indians, I must say that Emirates is the best airline I have ever flown on. Good food, good service, cushy seats, tons of little extras (like hot towels in the beginning to wash your hands, plus hot mint tea), personal tvs with a huge list of movies you can order on demand, and no extra fees for anything. I can certainly understand why it’s one of the top-rated airlines in the world, along with Singapore airlines (is it a coincidence that both are small, rich countries with authoritarian governments?). Tucked in and comfortable, I was prepared to snooze my way through a fantastic flight.

Well, this was not to be the case. The male Indians near me were insistent on getting drunk on Emirates’ free alcohol, while the women found me quite fascinating. During the course of the trip, at least eleven people stopped to ask me where I’m from, and were delighted when they found out that not only was I American, but I’m also half of Indian descent. They were all very friendly and I got several invitations to have dinner with various families. Whether this was out of purely kind intentions, or they were trying to set me up with their sons, it was nice nonetheless.

One particular conversation I had with a couple was a little strange. I had been talking to them for a while about various things, and after a lull in the conversation, the man says to me (pointing to his wife, very proudly), “She is my only wife! Not two wives!” Since they didn’t speak English very well, I thought it might have been an error in translation, so I just smiled and said…”Er…great!” Then the wife asks, “Do you have one mother? Or two?” I replied that I only had one mother, and they nodded approvingly. I thought this was a little strange, as I wasn’t aware that polygamy was a norm in India (and per various conversations with other people I had, it certainly isn’t). I contented myself with thinking that either this couple was very bizarre, or  just misinterpreted what they were trying to say.

Slowly but surely, we reached Dubai. The minute we landed was like a sensory explosion- perfumes, lights, flashy architecture, rich food, caviar, ice cream- all within steps into the airport. For the economy class, they had lounge chairs, private showers with toiletry bags, cushy waiting areas, and many amenities that I had never seen at any airport at the economy-level. As they had offered, I took a tour with a few other passengers (in a very nice bus) around the city, seeing various buildings, beaches and neighborhoods. I must say, I have never been anywhere like Dubai- it was luxury to the extreme, starting at the airport and continuing all the way to the downtown. The intention of the tour was to get people who only had connections in Dubai to want to come back, and let me tell you, if I had a ton of money to blow (and I would need it- I got a simple two scoops of ice cream with hot fudge for over ten bucks) then it certainly would have worked. It was luxury to the point of excess- so much so that it made me a little disgusted, as I get when I see what I perceive as huge waste and excess in the face of abject poverty. Who needs gold flakes on their ice cream or an indoor ski-resort when there are so many others starving?

Morality aside, Dubai was pretty awesome. It was the best connection I’ve ever had, especially when the emirates staff, concerned that I was a young female traveling unescorted, gave me access to the first-class lounge. On the flight to Mumbai, I was seated next to a Catholic Indian priest and nun, the latter with whom I had an interesting conversation about religion and spirituality.

Landing in Mumbai was the complete opposite of landing in Dubai. The airport was centered in the middle of the slums (like scenes straight out of Slumdog Millionaire- really. People picking through giant trashpiles, washing clothes in dirty rivers, tin-roof shanty towns), and was certainly nowhere near luxurious itself. I made my way to Vyoma’s apartment, which aside from having no air-conditioning in hot and humid 100 degree weather, is really quite lovely and makes me feel like I truly am experiencing India. Her neighborhood is pretty much every Indian cliche I can think of- women in saris, street-vendors hawking goods, slums mixed in with nicer apartments, dirt roads rife with animals, and traffic, traffic, traffic- and I love it. I haven’t had a chance to see the downtown of the city, but I will be sure to write about it when I do.

That’s it for now- Heading out for my first Indian dinner (won’t get to eat meat for a few months! , but in the spirit of the China vs. India policy debate, my next blog will be Mumbai vs. Beijing: a comparison. Stay tuned.

When Devi asked us to take care of Nimbus so he wouldn’t suffer harm with the arranged for caretaker, surprisingly my first response was: I love my grandcat because I love my daughter. She loves him; therefore, I love him.

And thus I dip my toe into the waters of grandpetting:
• I get to experience the joy of a pet with only temporary responsibilities (I think). I only have Nimbus for a moment in time so we spend that time enjoying it and having fun. I have that sense of freedom that grandparents have of enjoyment without the responsibility. He comes to me with the tiny mouse and wants to play fetch..which is highly entertaining.
• I do things with/for them that I could not do earlier….because I am in a totally different place in life. I can now recognize that some things are not as important as I once thought.
For example, the first day at our house, Nimbus began to scratch all the furniture. I did not spray him but did what any grandparent would do, I went out and bought not just one, but TWO different models of scratching posts and catnip spray to entertain/distract him. He, of course proceeded to ignore the scratching post because he preferred the furniture. So I decided to do two things: 1.) Entice him to the scratching post with is favorite food, canned tuna. 2) Make my house look like a constant place for a slumber party by covering every piece of furniture in sheets and comforters so that Nimbus can have free rein.
• I have the opportunity to step back and let him be who he is ..a cat, and allow him to make mistakes realizing that is how he will learn. Getting upset over little things is not as important. Some things just don’t matter. If what he is doing isn’t hurting anything or anyone, lighten up and enjoy the moment! So, now I am comfortable with all his climbing. In fact, grandcat puba was tossing the tiny toy mouse from his den and accidentally tossed it through the stair bannister. Without apparently missing a beat, Nimbus jumped through the rail and fell down the stairs. When Grandat Puba, looked down, there was Nimbus proudly holding the mouse in his mouth. He ran back up and wanted to continue, so there were high flying leaps down the stairs in fetching that was great exercise.
• I can spend time getting to know Nimbus and enjoying each aspect. He is a cat that plays fetch and nudges you when you don’t throw the mouse. He’ll sit with you when he pleases, and he has a horrible sense of smell which is why catnip is not successful. After I discovered he can’t even smell tuna unless you put it close to his nose, I would put the tuna to his nose, he would follow and I would lay it on top of the scratching post so he would have to go there to get it. Now, he is successfully using one scratching post…but the furniture will remain covered. He is terrified of certain noises and hid when the cleaning people came and started the vacuum cleaner. He was missing for about 7 hours..so we left every closet door and every room door open because we didn’t know where he was. I should have guessed he would be under our bed…hiding.
• I have also now found myself on visits thinking about the Grandpets. On a trip to Ocean City, I saw a cowboy hat for a dog and I could not help myself and bought it for Winston. Just like my greataunts and greatuncles, who on visits would bring me candy or something cool, so have I entered the realm of taking stuff for the grandpets.
• Although, my family would not call me an animal lover, I have been the only one to regularly clean the litter box…. Doing what’s best for any pet is loving them.

So now, that I have taken that dip into Grandpetting, I will be taking a plunge as Winston will be coming to stay later this summer. I hope that Nimbus will not be living under our bed but that his doglike behavior will make him and Winston buddies. So lessons in grandpetting will continue…