Baytunee Devi
The aforementioned Beijing-Mumbai deathmatch (as Andy put it) will have to be postponed until I get a chance to see downtown Mumbai, so for now I will talk about my experiences adjusting to life in India.
First of all, it’s hot. Hot, and more humid than I have ever experienced. There is only one moment in the day where I am not covered in sweat and stickiness, and that’s the five minutes I take in our blissful cold-water shower in the morning. The second I step outside of it, I’m covered in sweat and stick again. No air-conditioning of course, so breeze is my only source of comfort. At night, Vyoma and I share a bed in front of the window, sleeping only on the mattress with no sheets or blankets (except to cover the mattress), so as to keep ourselves cool. I woke up with a bad cold this morning (though thanks to several Indian remedies and medicine provided by Vyoma, I’m already starting to feel better) which added to the discomfort. I’ve given up on wearing makeup because it all melts off anyway, and my hair has settled into a very stylish ball of poof that attracts birds who may be searching for a place to nest.
All of this aside, I am really enjoying living here. I am learning how to handle the heat and humidity, and it bothers me less and less every day. The food is absolutely wonderful, and I am eating a very healthy vegetarian diet so I feel good about myself and my body. I’ve tried many new things from Paan to several different types of Chaat to kichiri (sp?) this morning for my cold. Vyoma and I have fun cooking together (she teaches me about Indian food while I teach her about Italian/American cooking) and we usually go out for dinner, where we can get a full Indian meal for less than two american dollars!
I’ve started my hindi lessons, and I’m pleased to say that I enjoy them a lot and can pick it up quickly. I was happy to learn that conversational hindi and urdu are virtually identical (though I’ve heard they differ greatly at higher, more formal ways of speaking) so that I don’t really have to choose between learning one or the other.
I’ve also learned that Indian people really can’t understand my name. They just can’t hear or process Bethany, so when they try to say it, it doesn’t even come close. Vyoma suggested I introduce myself as Bethany Devi, but when I did that most people just latched on to the Devi and called me that, which I had difficulty responding to since that is usually how we address my sister. So, I’ve started introducing myself as the Indianized version of my name, which is “Bay-tun-nee”, how Mom’s family calls me anyway.
Also, I’ve been inadvertently offending people. I was warned by an Indian friend before I left to stop saying thank you so much to people, as it makes them a little uncomfortable. However, since I grew up in the United States saying thank you is just a reflex (such as when someone hands you something, etc.) and gestures of appreciation are usually welcomed. Thus, I didn’t heed the warning very well- Vyoma and I went to get dessert at a coffee shop, and as she had been doing so much for me (putting me up, letting me eat her food, and so much more) I wanted to pay for her dessert. She told me not to, that it was okay, and I said no, I want to- just take it as a thank you for all the help you’ve been giving me! Vyoma turned bright red, got incredibly offended, and said, “Don’t ever say that to me!” Apparently she understood it as me trying to pay her for her help, which she gave out of kindness, and was thus incredibly offended by it. I, who viewed it as simply a gesture of appreciation and not that she expected reciprocation, was surprised at how upset she was. It reminded me of the differences in cultures- that in the United States, kind gestures usually have a value to them, and if we do something for someone we expect that they would do the same for us, or at least make some gesture to show that they appreciate what we did for them. In India, the act of kindness isn’t for the response, but for the act itself. Perhaps it is because they believe in the karma of actions, but it struck me as truly unselfish. Anyway, I learned my lesson.
So that is a pretty good assessment of my life so far! Most of my day is spent either studying hindi, reading about India, job-searching (if anybody has any leads in a security/trade/international relations field, please let me know!), exploring Mumbai, or eating. Soon, however, thanks to Dad’s contact at the embassy, I may be doing some volunteer work for an NGO that works with orphan girls as a sort of “big sister” project, so that should be a good experience as well!
I hope you’re staying hydrated!
I love the description…that your hair is a stylish ball of poof that attracts birds…
Haha- I’ve had similar gratitude experiences with my Indian classmates at NDSU. Before I go, someones got to teach me how to stop eating- generally Rani feeds me until I explode!