Bengfort.com

I present to you now, our Twitter conversation during the Superbowl. Lame you say? Probably, but I have also embedded the Hulu ads that sparked such color commentary, making the twitterathon much more understandable. At the very least, our twitter shame will be kept for posterity, here, in the form of a blog post. Enjoy, and comment!

jacib
@AzmatZahra Solution: www.hulu.com/adzone All of the commercial entertainment without the inconvenience of football interruptions.

AzmatZahra
@jacib Genius!

bbengfort
Superbowl food because I love my wife. Also veggie burgers and wine. http://tweetphoto.com/10733673

The Dockers No Pants Commercial:

jacib
Dear Dockers: No Roman man ever wore pants. Just saying. Now go sell your pants, minus the misogyny, thank you.

bbengfort
@jacib stop ruining my chances for free pants! Men wear pants, dockers will send me a pair. Well, probably not anymore. Should I take so …

jacib
Uh oh, the Dockers site is failing under the onslaught of free-pants seekers. Maybe it should have worn it’s pants, hmmmmm?

jacib
Dang it, in my fervor I made a grammatical error. “Its.” There, now all is right with the world.

bbengfort
@jacib at least you’re battling the server overload for the pants.

jacib
People who wear pants: everyone. People who didn’t: Gladiators. Jesus. Goliath. (All Bible people.) Alexander the Great. Caesar.

Dodge Charger: Because I’m a Man:

bbengfort
Damn you dodge… Don’t you have women on your ad board? You’re killing those of us with wives….

jacib
I may be tweeting a lot. These commercials…it’s like shooting feminist-principle fish in a miniscule pail.

bbengfort
@jacib stupid targeted advertising. For the rest of you only reading the tweets, remember I’m sitting next to her.

FloTv: Injury Report

jacib
“Change out of that skirt, Jason.” Can we at least get NEW ideas on how to exacerbate the differences between the sexes?

bbengfort
A flotv will also get me out of my skirt and into pants? Sweet! Theme anyone?

bbengfort
Ach aye, but what if I want I want to feel the breeze between me balls?

jacib
@bbengfort From personal experience, running in a kilt is fast and comfortable. The garb of warriors, it is.

FloTv: Moments

jacib
See, FLOTV, when you try you can do so much better…that was a great second try! Still, “Jason’s girlfriend removed his spine”?

bbengfort
I love my sisters who aren’t tweeting because “some of us are trying to watch the game!”

devibengfort
we can watch the game guilt free because work and class is canceled tomorrow

devibengfort
@bbengfort we’re eating guacamole and chips… vegetarian and delicious, but not entirely healthy

bbengfort
@devibengfort healthy enough! Nice one, at least the snowpacolypse is good for something!

bbengfort
*urp – jaci just put product naming in context. Flotv and iPad together.

jacib
I can’t take credit…it was in the Jezebel comment party thread. http://jezebel.com/5466226/super-bowl-comment-party

tgjbhanna
@bbengfort real men do not wear pants.

bbengfort
@tgjbhanna I’ll remember that the next time I stay with you….

jacib
Strange, isn’t it, how many made-up rules there are for real men?

devibengfort
I also made a grammatical error. Work and class ARE canceled tomorrow, not is

Motorola: Megan Fox

jacib
And then, Megan Foxx in a bathtub, for the perfect dose of misandry. Men are stupid. Boobs.

bethanini
Real men wear plaid. Also, antifeminist advertising bringing out the “man” in me- at least I can burp and fart freely

jacib
@bethanini Ah ha, the tweeting is addictive…even if you are trying to watch the game! (Though admittedly I’m not.)

[WHOOPS! NCIS commercials don't appear on Hulu because they are CBS commercials!]

devibengfort
And now because of superbowl commercials, I’m going to smack people on a regular basis for a variety of reasons.

bethanini
@jacib Haha well Ben made me feel like I was missing something!

Focus on Family: Tebow

bethanini
Also, the Tebow commercial that aired must not have been the one they were talking about- it really didn’t seem inflammatory to me at all

bethanini
Didn’t even register as anti-abortion. I thought it was just a commercial about Tebow and his family. Silly me.

jacib
@bethanini That was it–it was just the Focus on the Family went subtle (perhaps to make the feminists seem hysterical?).

E*Trade: Milkaholic

jacib
Yes…babies are totally gender-inscribed…baby girls are jealous bitches, baby boys are tiny playas…also, “milkaholic”?

tgjbhanna
@jacib ahh boobs! And babies! Tv has it all!

bbengfort
Just remember it takes tight, spandex PANTS to kick an offsides kick in the third quarter… Bold.

jacib
@bbengfort It could be done in a nice short kilt…hopefully with appropriate underthings, though. Even I am not that progressive.

Census: Snapshot

jacib
Commercials I like count: 1 (census), 2 (Google–so cute!)

Google: Search On

bbengfort
Google… Awwww!

devibengfort
darn, we were wondering what the heck was going on with the census commercial that we didnt even see the google commercial

Kia: Big Game

jacib
Kia–so close! But we had to add girl in bikini, girl in da club…kid toys are so baller.

Doritos: Hands off!

bethanini
Tim’s favorite: Toddler bitch-slapping Mom’s boyfriend, also, Budweiser commercial with Stripes theme music

tgjbhanna
@jacib men have to have rules. It makes the women think they are in control.

bethanini
Of course, Tim missed Megan Fox commercial…

bbengfort
@jacib do you need an O2 tank, my dear, up there on your high horse? (don’t worry, I was given permission to tweet this)

jacib
@devibengfort Check www.hulu.com/adzone…it should post there in time.

jacib
@bethanini Ditto…if you dare! Boobs!

Denny’s: Chicken Warning

bbengfort
Just got confirmation of my free pants entry from dockers. Better get a size up because of my free Grand Slam from Denny’s on Tuesday!

tgjbhanna
@bbengfort trousers not pants. Forever in blue jeans.

jacib
Air Force Reserve commercial loses for being dorky. The military isn’t using it’s resources…

bbengfort
@tgjbhanna wow, I can’t believe you just Britished me! I could go for a pair of khakis, but I am a computer nerd.

sworah
Was there something going on today? I’ve been asleep nearly the whole weekend. Also, Megan Fox is a skanky whore.

bbengfort
@jacib Megan Fox, not Foxx, she’s not a porn star. And she is the next angelina, she already fought alien machines!

bbengfort
@sworah chris! Don’t talk about Megan that way!

jacib
@sworah Is that why I accidently put that extra “x” in her name? Whoops.

bbengfort
@sworah marry Megan, she won’t rip your spine away, forcing you to buy a flotv to get your pants back. I’m sure of it.

Vizio: Foundry

jacib
3 (VIZIO)

bbengfort
@jacib you like the boring commercials. Also, that was a tv, not a cell phone? What the what?

Emerald Nuts + Popsecret = Awesomer

jacib
AWESOME + AWESOME = AWESOMER. AWESOMER = FAIL.

sworah
@bbengfort If I even marry a woman like Megan Fox it would be because I first had a frontal lobotomy.

sworah
@bbengfort Also, I could buy a blow up doll that had more brains and less plastic that Megan Foux

bbengfort
@sworah or because you won the genetic lottery. Can you imagine your kids? Hot, crazy geniuses.

bbengfort
@sworah you could put that doll in a kiln and it wouldn’t be as hot as Megan. For clarification: you genius, her hot, both crazy.

sworah
@bbengfort The problem is, when you combine her IQ and mine in a meaningful way, you get #DIV0! As the result.

devibengfort
@sworah that’s a lot of hate for one person!

Budweiser: Fence

jacib
4 (Budweiser)

bbengfort
@sworah hopefully genetic IQ is a Max function or my kids are screwed.

sworah
@devibengfort the idea of mating with an individual like Megan Fox to me is probably similar to your thoughts of mating with an orangutan.

Bridgestone: Your tires or your life

jacib
5 (NCIS) I knew it was Abby from the moment I saw the boots!

bbengfort
NUTS!!!! Jaci is unavailable Tuesday, who wants to go to Dennys with me?

tgjbhanna
@jacib mom likes bud com. Too

jacib
@sworah Dang, Chris, what are you trying to say about my husband?!? WANNA RUMBLE, BIYOTCH!?!

jacib
It’s a good thing there’s enough football in this commercial program that I can catch up on twitter and the Jezebel comment party…

bbengfort
@jacib wait… What? Did you just say you’re the brains and I’m the Megan? Awesomer.

Audi: Green Police

jacib
(5) Audi

bbengfort
@jacib you’re on 6

jacib
Oops…(6)

tgjbhanna
@bbengfort green police was good!

jacib
@tgjbhanna Agreed.

bbengfort
Now I’m confused, a dodge or a green audi makes me a man? Help, I need a woman to tell me!

bethanini
Yikes…game over! DAGGER

Bud Light: Book Club

bbengfort
Where can I find the hot chick book club with bud light?

jacib
You mean, all I need is beer and men will want to talk about books? So, Plato, Dante, and Billy Shakespeare walk into a bar…

GoDaddy: Spa

bbengfort
@jacib timeout, godaddy doesn’t host us, we have our own server, I just bought our domain registration with them.

jacib
Oh my, GoDaddy. I can’t believe I let my husband use you as our host.

bbengfort
Whoops, I managed to get my tweet out before jaci! Thanks ubertwitter! Sorry to confuse you, twitterverse.

jacib
twitter, honestly, PUT YOUR PANTS ON.

jacib
If I’ve learned anything from SB44, pants solve everything…even giant whales in nets held up by birdies (i.e., twitter overcapacity).

bbengfort
I leave you with this: awesome + awesome = awesomer. Indeed.

jacib
I drive a Dodge Stratus: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/family-dinner/2908 (For those now considering a Dodge Charger.)

jacib
That was my most awesomest Superbowl ever. Thanks, twitter. Goodnight, friends. Let’s do this again, next year.

AzmatZahra
Dear #SuperBowl & #Snowpocalypse, I hate you. Thank you for depleting earth’s best resources, thus my drinking dt pepsi instead of diet coke

sumac715
I checked my phone after the game and I had 55 texts from Twitter and Facebook????