In the land of Twilight, yet another Jacob runs the Woods

Being a dog who knows about pop culture, I am aware of the heated debate caused by New Moon- Jacob vs. Edward. It would be difficult for me not to be aware, considering I’m living in the land where apparently vampires and werewolves run free. I think it is clear what side I must fall on, and I must remind you, that my middle name is in fact, Jacob. Since I was a puppy, I have dreamed of being a wolf, or a dog that could turn into a wolf- a caniwulf, or even better, a dog that could turn into a wolf and then into a man during the full moon. It seems that I am now among my brethren!

For the past 20 of 21 days it has rained here, which can only mean that the vampires have been roaming freely. But today it was sunny out, so I went to the lake to see if I could spot these sparkling fiends. Although I didn’t catch any- be warned vampires, a new wolf named Jacob now roams the Puget Sound!

A wolf shadow appears across a sparkling lake

Winston waits to enter the exam room

See the picture above? That’s me at the vet, staring at the examination room waiting for some badness to come out of it. I hate the vet. But do you know what I hate more? The fact that this picture does not have the awesomeness that I discovered at the vet- a Kangaroo! I met two of them! That’s right, my dad had the presence of mind to take a picture of me at the vet so I could blog about it, but he completely spaced the fact that he should take a picture of me meeting a joey. Then he got a second chance, and he missed it again! I even posed for the picture, but he says that he was too busy trying to make sure that I didn’t lose a boxing match… what crap!

So, I met these two joey at the vet- apparently there is a kangaroo farm here in Arlington: The Outback Christmas Tree and Kangaroo Farm and they raise Kangaroos and people buy them as pets. The joey were just born and I guess they were getting a checkup so their owner brought them in in a sling that they carried around their necks! They even fed them with a baby bottle! I was really scared of being at the vet, so at first I didn’t know what to think, but then the farmer was really nice to me and petted me, and all of a sudden it poked its head out of the pouch! We both sniffed each other for a while, but then the vet came so I had to go hide under dad again. The second Joey I met didn’t like me as much and tried to punch me, but I jumped away before it could happen. Its crazy, they’re like jumping dog rats!

The ones I met were small, but apparently they were Australian reds and will grow to be over 6 feet tall! Seems like these giant jumping dogs could give me a run for my money! I am a little jealous though, I never got to ride around in a pouch or drink from a bottle when I was a puppy…

Bored Winston

I’m so bored. Basically all I do is sleep all day long. North Dakota was so cold, and nothing like England, and my mom wasn’t there, but I had friends, Anni and Twag. Here all the other dogs are mean, they always bark when we walk. And I never see any of my friends. I’m so bored here that I have even uploaded all my old blogs to this site, which you can now reread in the archive.

Now all my parents do is work. My mom goes to work so very early, and she wakes me up at 530 in the morning so that I can go for a walk with her. Which I rarely want to do because the bed is so warm, and its the same bed as in England. Most of the time when we go out it is raining, and I don’t like being a wet dog- I like that worse than being a cold dog.

Dad is worse. He is home all day now, which at first I thought was going to be awesome! But he goes upstairs to work and even though I can go with him, he is so busy on those computers that I can’t get a word in edgewise! Believe me, I try. I beg, I whine, I tear through the house. He’ll get up and let me outside, sometimes take me for a walk, but he always goes back to work. I’m always waiting at the top of the stairs to listen for mom opening the garage door because I know that’s when he’ll stop working… sometimes. I have even learned this trick. I’ll sneak up under his desk, and when he’s least expecting it, or if he leans away from his keyboard even a little bit- BAM! I’m in his lap! It’s not very comfortable up there though.

So I’m bored. I need a friend. What I really want is a new puppy in the house, a schnauzer just like my friend in North Dakota. So everyone out there reading this- please comment and tell my parents that it is time for a second dog in the house!

I’m a little stressed out and confused by it all. I spent yesterday being very cranky and barky as the movers took all of my stuff, wrapped it up and put it into their big truck. I was one very unhappy pup. Plus they made me wear my handle all day long and alternately put me in my kennel and on my lead so I wouldn’t be underfoot (I tried to stop them as much as I could, but they wouldn’t let me!

So now the house is empty. And when I bark, it echoes… it is really sad. My space pod travel kennel is still here and some suitcases with mom and dad’s stuff. But we are sleeping on the floor- which is awesome! Now when dad is sleeping, I can just walk up and lick his face, and when he turns away and tries to stop me, I can just walk around and lick him from the other side! muwhahahaha!

Miffed, I thought that was the last of the cats, but I have been seeing them everywhere, and each time I do, the experience is a bad one. So I have decided to become an Action Hero in order to rid the world of these prissy purloiners. Every time we go on a walk I check in every doorway, to make sure that security is maintained. I didn’t used to be so nosy, but desperate times call for desperate measures (Mom thinks I am nosy now because I was allowed to go inside Wolfson college, but I am really just securing the area from the kittyfestation).

Part of my Action Hero training includes reading the guidebook (seen above), luckily I am an Oxford graduate, something no cat can claim. Also, I have decided that since cats always land on their feet gracefully, that I will land in a more canine way, on my face. Whether it is tripping over dad’s feet, going down the stairs too quick or jumping off the couch, I am determined to use my face as a gravity deterrent until the kittentastrophe is over.

To prove my point, yesterday I practiced my Superman. Superman, as I found out, can fly! I don’t think he is a bird, but I don’t really care about them anyway so long as they stay out of my yard and my bushes. So if he can fly, I can fly. Yesterday, when a person came over to look at the house stuff, dad was picking me up to carry me outside rather than get the attention I deserve from anyone I deign to allow into my domain. When he got to the top of the stairs I decided it would be a perfect time to practice flying.

So I wriggled out of his arms and kicked off the wall to jump over his shoulder. It was a long way down all of those stairs, but don’t worry- I managed to land on my face! No graceful landing for this pup! Everyone was pretty horrified, but I got up pretty quick to bite the intruder- and everyone got mad, the fall must have knocked my nip into overdrive somehow, or maybe it was the Superman-like flying abilities that gave my jaw more strength, I’m not sure. Its not like I broke the skin or anything!

But one thing’s for sure, no darned cat can ever fly or be Superman like I can!

Mom discovered that she could make me yawn on command yesterday, and it was kind of fun to yawn when she yawned. Yet, of course, as soon as I am on video trying to do it, it only works once, boring. Anyway, here is the yawn of a video, with everyone yawning but me…