I present to you now, our Twitter conversation during the Superbowl. Lame you say? Probably, but I have also embedded the Hulu ads that sparked such color commentary, making the twitterathon much more understandable. At the very least, our twitter shame will be kept for posterity, here, in the form of a blog post. Enjoy, and comment!

jacib
@AzmatZahra Solution: www.hulu.com/adzone All of the commercial entertainment without the inconvenience of football interruptions.

AzmatZahra
@jacib Genius!

bbengfort
Superbowl food because I love my wife. Also veggie burgers and wine. http://tweetphoto.com/10733673

The Dockers No Pants Commercial:

jacib
Dear Dockers: No Roman man ever wore pants. Just saying. Now go sell your pants, minus the misogyny, thank you.

bbengfort
@jacib stop ruining my chances for free pants! Men wear pants, dockers will send me a pair. Well, probably not anymore. Should I take so …

jacib
Uh oh, the Dockers site is failing under the onslaught of free-pants seekers. Maybe it should have worn it’s pants, hmmmmm?

jacib
Dang it, in my fervor I made a grammatical error. “Its.” There, now all is right with the world.

bbengfort
@jacib at least you’re battling the server overload for the pants.

jacib
People who wear pants: everyone. People who didn’t: Gladiators. Jesus. Goliath. (All Bible people.) Alexander the Great. Caesar.

Dodge Charger: Because I’m a Man:

bbengfort
Damn you dodge… Don’t you have women on your ad board? You’re killing those of us with wives….

jacib
I may be tweeting a lot. These commercials…it’s like shooting feminist-principle fish in a miniscule pail.

bbengfort
@jacib stupid targeted advertising. For the rest of you only reading the tweets, remember I’m sitting next to her.

FloTv: Injury Report

jacib
“Change out of that skirt, Jason.” Can we at least get NEW ideas on how to exacerbate the differences between the sexes?

bbengfort
A flotv will also get me out of my skirt and into pants? Sweet! Theme anyone?

bbengfort
Ach aye, but what if I want I want to feel the breeze between me balls?

jacib
@bbengfort From personal experience, running in a kilt is fast and comfortable. The garb of warriors, it is.

FloTv: Moments

jacib
See, FLOTV, when you try you can do so much better…that was a great second try! Still, “Jason’s girlfriend removed his spine”?

bbengfort
I love my sisters who aren’t tweeting because “some of us are trying to watch the game!”

devibengfort
we can watch the game guilt free because work and class is canceled tomorrow

devibengfort
@bbengfort we’re eating guacamole and chips… vegetarian and delicious, but not entirely healthy

bbengfort
@devibengfort healthy enough! Nice one, at least the snowpacolypse is good for something!

bbengfort
*urp – jaci just put product naming in context. Flotv and iPad together.

jacib
I can’t take credit…it was in the Jezebel comment party thread. http://jezebel.com/5466226/super-bowl-comment-party

tgjbhanna
@bbengfort real men do not wear pants.

bbengfort
@tgjbhanna I’ll remember that the next time I stay with you….

jacib
Strange, isn’t it, how many made-up rules there are for real men?

devibengfort
I also made a grammatical error. Work and class ARE canceled tomorrow, not is

Motorola: Megan Fox

jacib
And then, Megan Foxx in a bathtub, for the perfect dose of misandry. Men are stupid. Boobs.

bethanini
Real men wear plaid. Also, antifeminist advertising bringing out the “man” in me- at least I can burp and fart freely

jacib
@bethanini Ah ha, the tweeting is addictive…even if you are trying to watch the game! (Though admittedly I’m not.)

[WHOOPS! NCIS commercials don't appear on Hulu because they are CBS commercials!]

devibengfort
And now because of superbowl commercials, I’m going to smack people on a regular basis for a variety of reasons.

bethanini
@jacib Haha well Ben made me feel like I was missing something!

Focus on Family: Tebow

bethanini
Also, the Tebow commercial that aired must not have been the one they were talking about- it really didn’t seem inflammatory to me at all

bethanini
Didn’t even register as anti-abortion. I thought it was just a commercial about Tebow and his family. Silly me.

jacib
@bethanini That was it–it was just the Focus on the Family went subtle (perhaps to make the feminists seem hysterical?).

E*Trade: Milkaholic

jacib
Yes…babies are totally gender-inscribed…baby girls are jealous bitches, baby boys are tiny playas…also, “milkaholic”?

tgjbhanna
@jacib ahh boobs! And babies! Tv has it all!

bbengfort
Just remember it takes tight, spandex PANTS to kick an offsides kick in the third quarter… Bold.

jacib
@bbengfort It could be done in a nice short kilt…hopefully with appropriate underthings, though. Even I am not that progressive.

Census: Snapshot

jacib
Commercials I like count: 1 (census), 2 (Google–so cute!)

Google: Search On

bbengfort
Google… Awwww!

devibengfort
darn, we were wondering what the heck was going on with the census commercial that we didnt even see the google commercial

Kia: Big Game

jacib
Kia–so close! But we had to add girl in bikini, girl in da club…kid toys are so baller.

Doritos: Hands off!

bethanini
Tim’s favorite: Toddler bitch-slapping Mom’s boyfriend, also, Budweiser commercial with Stripes theme music

tgjbhanna
@jacib men have to have rules. It makes the women think they are in control.

bethanini
Of course, Tim missed Megan Fox commercial…

bbengfort
@jacib do you need an O2 tank, my dear, up there on your high horse? (don’t worry, I was given permission to tweet this)

jacib
@devibengfort Check www.hulu.com/adzone…it should post there in time.

jacib
@bethanini Ditto…if you dare! Boobs!

Denny’s: Chicken Warning

bbengfort
Just got confirmation of my free pants entry from dockers. Better get a size up because of my free Grand Slam from Denny’s on Tuesday!

tgjbhanna
@bbengfort trousers not pants. Forever in blue jeans.

jacib
Air Force Reserve commercial loses for being dorky. The military isn’t using it’s resources…

bbengfort
@tgjbhanna wow, I can’t believe you just Britished me! I could go for a pair of khakis, but I am a computer nerd.

sworah
Was there something going on today? I’ve been asleep nearly the whole weekend. Also, Megan Fox is a skanky whore.

bbengfort
@jacib Megan Fox, not Foxx, she’s not a porn star. And she is the next angelina, she already fought alien machines!

bbengfort
@sworah chris! Don’t talk about Megan that way!

jacib
@sworah Is that why I accidently put that extra “x” in her name? Whoops.

bbengfort
@sworah marry Megan, she won’t rip your spine away, forcing you to buy a flotv to get your pants back. I’m sure of it.

Vizio: Foundry

jacib
3 (VIZIO)

bbengfort
@jacib you like the boring commercials. Also, that was a tv, not a cell phone? What the what?

Emerald Nuts + Popsecret = Awesomer

jacib
AWESOME + AWESOME = AWESOMER. AWESOMER = FAIL.

sworah
@bbengfort If I even marry a woman like Megan Fox it would be because I first had a frontal lobotomy.

sworah
@bbengfort Also, I could buy a blow up doll that had more brains and less plastic that Megan Foux

bbengfort
@sworah or because you won the genetic lottery. Can you imagine your kids? Hot, crazy geniuses.

bbengfort
@sworah you could put that doll in a kiln and it wouldn’t be as hot as Megan. For clarification: you genius, her hot, both crazy.

sworah
@bbengfort The problem is, when you combine her IQ and mine in a meaningful way, you get #DIV0! As the result.

devibengfort
@sworah that’s a lot of hate for one person!

Budweiser: Fence

jacib
4 (Budweiser)

bbengfort
@sworah hopefully genetic IQ is a Max function or my kids are screwed.

sworah
@devibengfort the idea of mating with an individual like Megan Fox to me is probably similar to your thoughts of mating with an orangutan.

Bridgestone: Your tires or your life

jacib
5 (NCIS) I knew it was Abby from the moment I saw the boots!

bbengfort
NUTS!!!! Jaci is unavailable Tuesday, who wants to go to Dennys with me?

tgjbhanna
@jacib mom likes bud com. Too

jacib
@sworah Dang, Chris, what are you trying to say about my husband?!? WANNA RUMBLE, BIYOTCH!?!

jacib
It’s a good thing there’s enough football in this commercial program that I can catch up on twitter and the Jezebel comment party…

bbengfort
@jacib wait… What? Did you just say you’re the brains and I’m the Megan? Awesomer.

Audi: Green Police

jacib
(5) Audi

bbengfort
@jacib you’re on 6

jacib
Oops…(6)

tgjbhanna
@bbengfort green police was good!

jacib
@tgjbhanna Agreed.

bbengfort
Now I’m confused, a dodge or a green audi makes me a man? Help, I need a woman to tell me!

bethanini
Yikes…game over! DAGGER

Bud Light: Book Club

bbengfort
Where can I find the hot chick book club with bud light?

jacib
You mean, all I need is beer and men will want to talk about books? So, Plato, Dante, and Billy Shakespeare walk into a bar…

GoDaddy: Spa

bbengfort
@jacib timeout, godaddy doesn’t host us, we have our own server, I just bought our domain registration with them.

jacib
Oh my, GoDaddy. I can’t believe I let my husband use you as our host.

bbengfort
Whoops, I managed to get my tweet out before jaci! Thanks ubertwitter! Sorry to confuse you, twitterverse.

jacib
twitter, honestly, PUT YOUR PANTS ON.

jacib
If I’ve learned anything from SB44, pants solve everything…even giant whales in nets held up by birdies (i.e., twitter overcapacity).

bbengfort
I leave you with this: awesome + awesome = awesomer. Indeed.

jacib
I drive a Dodge Stratus: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/family-dinner/2908 (For those now considering a Dodge Charger.)

jacib
That was my most awesomest Superbowl ever. Thanks, twitter. Goodnight, friends. Let’s do this again, next year.

AzmatZahra
Dear #SuperBowl & #Snowpocalypse, I hate you. Thank you for depleting earth’s best resources, thus my drinking dt pepsi instead of diet coke

sumac715
I checked my phone after the game and I had 55 texts from Twitter and Facebook????

As you may have guessed, this is a post about dressing.

Salad dressing, that is.  (insert drumroll here)

You may get the impression that here at Bengfort.com we eat all Guyanese, all the time.  In fact, we have a growing collection of recipes from around the world, and we enjoy a great variety of foods.

Preliminaries out of the way, I wanted to share two recipes, one new, one old.

I came up with the first the other day when I had bought a can of crab from the grocery store.  (This can be purchased in the tuna section and is surprisingly good.)  There was a mini crabcake recipe on the inside of the can label, but I didn’t have all the ingredients called for, so I decided to serve the crab on a bed of greens instead.  Using the recipe for crabcakes as a rough guide, I came up with the following deconstructed version:

Crabcake ala Jacquelyn

a salad

Note: all measures are approximate–when I’m making something up, I do a dump-and-taste method.  Which, I guess, means all ingredients are approximate as well…

• 1 tablespoon mayonnaise
• 1 1/2 teaspoon mustard (I used a very liquid gourmet Champagne mustard)
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin seed
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• dash Worcestershire sauce
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1-2 tablespoons olive oil (enough to give the dressing a dressing consistency)
• mixed greens
• 1 small can lump crabmeat
• Old Bay seasoning

Mix together the mayo, mustard, cumin seed, onion, W-sauce, salt, and pepper; add in the oil and stir, adjusting the amount for the desired consistency.  Use this to dress the greens (this will be enough dressing for two medium/large salads–you’ll have to eyeball it).  Dish up the dressed greens and split the crabmeat between the two salads; sprinkle with Old Bay, to taste.

The second recipe is an old favorite of my Grandma Dorothy’s.  The name alone nearly put Ben off of it, so you can call it Catalina or French if you like–but to me, it will always be…

Grandma Dorothy’s Tomato Catsup Salad Dressing

• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 1/3 cup vinegar (I used white rice vinegar–any kind will do)
• 1/2 cup “catsup” (ketchup to you non-North Dakotans)
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 2 teaspoons dry mustard
  
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper

Blend all ingredients together.  This recipe will make a lot of dressing, but it keeps well for a few weeks.

With these two recipes at your side, not only can you dress your salads, but you can begin to discover the joys of making your own small-batch salad dressing instead of filling your fridge with giant bottles of the stuff–no more race to see whether or not it will go bad before you’re sick of same flavor on salad after salad.  Think of it as couture for your naked greens.  Enjoy!

Guyanese food is very difficult to make if you are a newbie. It takes years and years of practice and acquired intuition to get a dish perfect on a consistent basis, and even then, one person’s way of doing things may be completely different than another person’s.  As the recipes on the Guyana cookbook are more guidelines than instructions, I’d like to offer some cooking tips that can help put you on the straight and narrow when it comes to Guyanese food.

Top Ten Tips for Making Roti

1. Use WARM to HOT water when making the dough. I don’t understand the physics of it, but it makes the dough turn out better than using cold water.

2. ALWAYS keep dough covered while you are working with individual pieces to keep it from drying out. I like using a damp paper towel. Nothing is worse than working with dried out dough.

3. WOODEN rolling pins are better than marble. Something about the grainy texture provides the right amount of traction but no stick. (Beer bottles can be used in a pinch if you find that someone has stolen your rolling pin for unknown purposes, or if your significant other/children/ayi put it in the wrong cupboard and you just didn’t find it in time)

4. TIE UP YOUR HAIR (if you’re a girl with long hair)- stray hairs in the dough just isn’t appetizing

5. Use ONE hand to mix the dough, that way you’ll have a clean hand to turn on  faucet to refill your water cup without getting flour all over the sink

6. Instead of rolling and oiling and refolding individual rotis, save time by rolling just-made dough into a LARGE RECTANGLE, about twice as long as it is wide. Spread oil and sprinkle flour across the surface like you would in the recipe instructions for individual rotis, and then starting from the long-end, roll the dough up like you would a yoga mat. Then pinch off into balls, twisting the ends closed and pressing them in.

7. Individual roti balls should be about the size of a TANGERINE

8. DON’T roll roti too thin, or else it won’t rise and separate. Optimal thickness is 1/10 of an inch, the thickness of a 5 cent coin.

9. Make sure the Tawa is HOT HOT HOT before you cook. Water should sizzle and evaporate immediately when sprinkled on the surface.

10. Only flip 3 times! Any more and the roti will become tough.

I hope these tips help!

The Changing Identity of South Asian Guyanese

During our many Christmastime conversations, the question of my graduate thesis came up.  Ben, in an urge to experiment with self-publishing and happening to know I had a fairly polished hundred pages, put this together back in 2008 and made it available via Lulu.  He designed the cover art and wrote the blurbage as well (basically, everything required to make it accessible).

Mom Bengfort, in particular, advocated for making sure that this paper was available to those interested in the topic.  If I do say so myself (and definitionally, I do), while it isn’t groundbreaking anthropology or breathtaking Shakespeare, the extensive bibliography would be very useful to any student of Guyanese anthropology, sociology, history, or literature.

In any case, if you’re here at Bengfort.com, statistically you are here for the cookbook.  So this is, in essence, a classic “But wait!  There’s more!”  Consider this your invitation to sit down with a nice spread of dahl, roti, pumpkin, and armchair anthropology.

http://www.lulu.com/content/2742903

A Factory Tour

Tim and I decided that to deter boredom on a Monday in Arlington while Jaci was at work- we could take a tour of the Boeing plant in Everett. Because of my experience at Porsche in Stuttgart I figured that it would be a PR junket for the company, and probably a large gift shop with very worthless (but expensive) logo gear. Cynical as I may have been, I assumed that at the very least, there might be some good history to learn; and it was a nice day to watch airplanes land and take off at Paine field. Anyway, we both figured it wouldn’t be something Jaci would be interested in- so we may as well check it out since we had the chance. Little did we know that we were in for a very pleasant surprise because the tour was absolutely riveting and educational!

When I looked online for Boeing tours, I discovered that this was actually a premier tourist attraction. I thought that we could probably just show up at the Future of Flight building- a tiny Boeing museum near the main plant, and that we would be able to get in on a simple tour of the grounds. I did not expect that we would need reservations (we did, we almost didn’t get tickets because we called the day before) and that usually the 6 scheduled 90 minute tours would fill up quickly. The tickets got you into the main plant- we were escorted there by bus- and we could see the entire factory floor, plus access to the interactive Boeing experience, and the Stratodeck to observe flight operations at Paine Field! They cost $15.50 a person, twice as much as a movie ticket, but very worth it!

The Largest Building in the World by Volume

Before entering the tour, we were asked by a well armed guard to lock our cell phones, cameras, and any other electronic gear in a rental locker. We weren’t sure if this was to stop industrial espionage, equipment interference, or flashes but the security was very tight. Other restrictions included a height restriction, and advice that if you couldn’t descend and climb 21 steep stairs or walk a kilometer they would have to provide an accessible option apart from the main group. This only made me positive that we were going to see some cool stuff, though!

After a short introductory video, we clambered aboard a very nice, modern coach bus for a short drive from the Future of Flight Building, across an access road that skirted the Paine Field runway, to the main manufacturing building. Along the way we passed dozens of brand new jets parked on the tarmac outside paint hangers and other support and fuel buildings. Soon, though, we were parked in front of a massive hanger door.

If you have ever been down the Mulkiteo Speedway, you will have noticed this humongous  hanger complex that is the largest building in the world by volume. In fact, you could fit all of the Walt Disney World  theme park inside of this building and still have room for an indoor parking lot that could hold 1200 cars! The doors, painted blue with Boeing logos are roughly the size of American football fields- 90 feet high by 300 feet long! It looks big, certainly, but when you are standing, engulfed by those doors, it makes you feel downright Lilliputian!

Assembling Twin-Aisle, Wide Body Aircraft

The tour guide (Paul) led us down into an access tunnel that was a kilometer long- each of the 6 manufacturing bays have one. The tunnel runs pipes, cords, and people safely below the assembly floor- in fact, it is used by Boeing employees for exercise during bad weather! The tunnel was long, well lit, and had a laminated concrete floor. I could just envision all the fun things I could do in that tunnel with roller blades, bikes, moving dollies and a tow rope (or vegetable oil and a mattress)…

Halfway down the tunnel we came to a giant freight elevator that took us to the top floor of the middle of the E-shed. The floor was a visitors lobby with security guards, speakers for the tour guide and an amazing overlook view of the 747-8 Assembly station! Previous, smaller jets like the 727 and 737 had been manufactured by a moving assembly line (picture a giant scaffolding on wheels that grew over an aircraft being assembled as it moved down the assembly floor). Unfortunately the 747 was much to massive to be assembled in this way- so it is assembled in static stations.

In the front bay doors are giant aluminum sheet metal cutters, then stations for wing assembly. Wing skeletons are then connected with their control structures in a wing assembly area. The fuselage also has separate assembly structures running gown the far end of the bay. Then coming back down the other side of the bay all the pieces are put together. First, the central fuselage piece are attached to the wings, then the plane moves forward to a giant oven that cures the sealant. The plane moves forward where the front fuselage and tail pieces are moved by ceiling crane to be affixed the central portion and wings. This assembly area has air wing shaped concrete platforms that perfectly fit the growing aircraft. These structures are also used for access to add wiring and other control and structural elements.

After the main assembly, the landing gear is placed on the aircraft, from which point it moves forward as a single structure. Two more angled parking spots allow the plant workers to add the interior as well as do any testing and structural work that needs to be done. Needless to say, this bay is big enough for 5 747 aircraft lined up from nose to tail with space between! It is a massive scale! Sorry that I don’t have pictures- but again, they wouldn’t allow us to bring the camera on the tour.

A Stunning View

Too soon we were pulled from the overlook to move on with the rest of the tour. 747s are awesome, humongous, recognizable aircraft, and to see their birth was pretty extraordinary. However, as we went back down the tunnel to be transported by the bus to the new hangers, we were in for a similar surprise.

The new hangers were built to create the new 777 and 787 aircraft. As before we were taken to a tunnel to be lifted to the top overlook floor. However, the top overlook floor for the 777 and 787 bays was much, much nicer. Digital TVs, scale models, carpet, and sofas greeted us along with the fabulous view of the future of the airline industry (and its pretty cool present).

If you don’t know too much about the aircraft that carry you when you travel, it may be a surprise to you that there are only really 2 companies that manufacturer your ride- Airbus and Boeing. Boeing aircraft used to be dominant in an airline’s fleet, but Airbus’ sleeker, more efficient planes soon gained a significant market share (think PC vs. Mac). While the 747 had been the workhorse of International Travel – the A340/380 could carry more passengers, farther, for less fuel. Boeing’s answer was the 777.

The 777 is a twin-aisle wide bodied, twin engine aircraft with the farthest range of any commercial aircraft, ever. It is sleek, fuel efficient, and it is the airframe that has carried me back and forth across the Atlantic all except one time. It is an amazing piece of engineering with over 6 million components. In fact the landing gear (seen above) is so high tech, it is the single most expensive component on the plane except for the engines!

We were treated by  a view of the moving assembly line that creates the 777. The line- a scaffold on wheels that grows over aircraft as it is assembled – moves at 1.6 feet per minute and can be accessed by stair by the workers. Once again, overhead cranes carry pieces of the aircraft from their assembly bays to the moving line. We watched as the 35th 777 for Egypt Air was being finalized on the cleanest factory floor I’ve ever seen.

However, the 777 is not the future. The future is Boeing’s 787 Dreamliner aircraft that just had its first flight a few weeks ago.

The Future of Flight

Walking around a partition in the gallery we came to a view of the newest bay that is now being used to assemble the 787 Dreamliner. The 787 is a modern 250 seat aircraft that is made of lightweight, stronger than steel composite material. The modern GE engines are super fuel efficient, and that combined with its light weight gives the 787 an excellent range at highly economic costs.

The stronger material also allows the aircraft to be pressurized at 6000 feet, way more comfortable than the 8000 FAA mandated pressure that is normal now. In addition, the air is humidified, which means no more dry mouth! The composite wings also can bend 12 feet in either direction- meaning that they absorb much of the turbulence! Very soon, airline passengers should be treated to lower cost, way more comfortable flights on these amazing aircraft!

787s are manufactured in a completely new way as well. Parts are no longer manufactured at the Boeing plant, but completed and integrated in specialty plants around the world. They are flown to the Everett plant via the Dreamlifter- a mega lifter created specially by Boeing for the job- essentially a modified 747 whose upper deck has been extended the entire length of the aircraft (it looks like a giant hot dog). The tail is on a giant hinge that can swing out to load entire sections of the 787 at once! Once flown to Everett, the Dreamliner can be assembled at a rate of one aircraft every three days!

To manage the global dispersion of the 787 manufacturing, the newest bay has a modern command center that looks like it belongs in NASA or a SciFi movie! Massive screens track the locations of all the parts as well as the percent completion of every 787 aircraft in production. Reps from every company involved are also forced to man the command center (presumably so that if something goes wrong they can immediately be chewed out!) Manufacturing of the 787 is a modern, technologically, and communication savvy process that is extremely sophisticated and impressive!

A Beautiful Day Watching Air Operations

After the tour, we went back to the Future of Flight museum to look around. We got to play in a real cockpit, design our own aircraft, and experience an interactive tour of the engines. While we were playing like kids in a candy store, we had the misfortune of hearing the massive wind-up of 4 Rolls Royce jet engines that indicated we missed the take off of one of the enormous Dreamlifters. Because of that, though, we discovered that there was an observation deck with a cafe where we could watch the testing air operations for the new aircraft!

The tour was more than I could have expected. Boeing really took care of their guests, providing access without disruption, and allowing complete viewing of the aircraft manufacturing process. The galleries and viewing areas were impeccably designed and furnished, and very comfortable. I could not ask for a better experience in a factory! If you are in Everett, the Boeing Future of Flight Tour is a must see!

More pictures of the day:

Being a dog who knows about pop culture, I am aware of the heated debate caused by New Moon- Jacob vs. Edward. It would be difficult for me not to be aware, considering I’m living in the land where apparently vampires and werewolves run free. I think it is clear what side I must fall on, and I must remind you, that my middle name is in fact, Jacob. Since I was a puppy, I have dreamed of being a wolf, or a dog that could turn into a wolf- a caniwulf, or even better, a dog that could turn into a wolf and then into a man during the full moon. It seems that I am now among my brethren!

For the past 20 of 21 days it has rained here, which can only mean that the vampires have been roaming freely. But today it was sunny out, so I went to the lake to see if I could spot these sparkling fiends. Although I didn’t catch any- be warned vampires, a new wolf named Jacob now roams the Puget Sound!

See the picture above? That’s me at the vet, staring at the examination room waiting for some badness to come out of it. I hate the vet. But do you know what I hate more? The fact that this picture does not have the awesomeness that I discovered at the vet- a Kangaroo! I met two of them! That’s right, my dad had the presence of mind to take a picture of me at the vet so I could blog about it, but he completely spaced the fact that he should take a picture of me meeting a joey. Then he got a second chance, and he missed it again! I even posed for the picture, but he says that he was too busy trying to make sure that I didn’t lose a boxing match… what crap!

So, I met these two joey at the vet- apparently there is a kangaroo farm here in Arlington: The Outback Christmas Tree and Kangaroo Farm and they raise Kangaroos and people buy them as pets. The joey were just born and I guess they were getting a checkup so their owner brought them in in a sling that they carried around their necks! They even fed them with a baby bottle! I was really scared of being at the vet, so at first I didn’t know what to think, but then the farmer was really nice to me and petted me, and all of a sudden it poked its head out of the pouch! We both sniffed each other for a while, but then the vet came so I had to go hide under dad again. The second Joey I met didn’t like me as much and tried to punch me, but I jumped away before it could happen. Its crazy, they’re like jumping dog rats!

The ones I met were small, but apparently they were Australian reds and will grow to be over 6 feet tall! Seems like these giant jumping dogs could give me a run for my money! I am a little jealous though, I never got to ride around in a pouch or drink from a bottle when I was a puppy…

Yesterday, per Devi’s suggestion, I started reading Fair Play by James Olson, a book on the moral and ethical issues surrounding intelligence gathering.

While I will offer a comprehensive review of the entire book when I am finished, I think that the book asks some interesting questions that deserve individual attention and analysis. The book is set up as a series of scenarios where the reader has to decide whether the act is morally justified, and then contains responses from people in various fields analyzing the situation. As the book suggests that the reader “reach his or her own conclusion- yea or nay- after each scenario, before reading the opinions of the commentators,” and “try to respond instinctively as you would if you were a senior policy maker or intelligence officer and had to approve or disprove the operation,” I’ve decided to blog my initial reactions before continuing reading, then see if my mind changes when I listen to the arguments. I would also like to hear your thoughts!

**Disclaimer** The few (of many) scenarios I choose to blog about are the property of the author, James Olson, and are entirely fictional. The analysis I present, however, is entirely my own, and does not represent the author’s point of view. For more background information and analysis, please read the book!

Scenario 1:

“Rolando Montemayor is a Cuban Direccion General de Inteligencia (DGI) officer under cover as a second secretary at the Cuban mission to the United Nations in New York. He previously served in the Cuban embassy in Madrid, Spain, where the CIA successfully ran a double agent operation against him. The double agent, a young Spanish Communist journalist, reported to his CIA case officer that he strongly suspected that Montemayor was homosexual.

When Montemayor moves to New York, the CIA passes its information on him to the FBI. The FBI and CIA agree to conduct a joint operation against Montemayor in New York in an effort to recruit him as a penetration of the DGI. The FBI surveillance of Montemayor indicates that he frequents gay bars in New York and engages in promiscuous homosexual sex. Using telephone taps and infrared photography, the FBI acquires incontrovertible evidence of Montemayor’s homosexual activities. Homosexuality is grounds for dismissal from the DGI, and Montemayor has carefully concealed his sexual orientation from his family, friends, and colleagues.

Would it be morally acceptable for the CIA and FBI to attempt to recruit Montemayor by blackmailing him on the basis of his homosexuality?” (46)

I have to say that in my initial reaction about a million thoughts ran through my head at once. The first was that in the United States both blackmail and discrimination based on sexual orientation are illegal, for good reason, and that because Montemayor did not pose an immediate threat or we had reason to believe he held vital information there really was no justification (if there ever is) for breaking the law. My second thought was that, as a spy, he knew exactly what he was getting into and how compromising (in his CHOSEN occupation) homosexual behavior was, and yet he chose to recklessly (and very conspicuously at that) engage in it anyway. I’m not saying that Cuban sexual discrimination is right, I’m just saying that if you are Cuban, and homosexual, why would you get involved in as dangerous, politically charged and secretive an occupation as espionage? I mean seriously. You had it comin’. Don’t hate the player, player, hate the game.

My third reaction, however, and the one I’m sticking with, was that the whole operation seemed pointless. You are effectively blackmailing a spy into becoming a double agent, which to me does not seem to make good intelligence, given the particular nature of double agents and the sensitivity and skill they require. Threatening to out someone does not a good agent make; they lack the loyalty or any sort of positive incentive to cooperate. Instead, use the information to your advantage- find your man a boyfriend in New York (or even a gay undercover agent; after all, they aren’t illegal in the United States, and Cuba wouldn’t see it coming!) and use HIS sexy wiles to elicit the needed incentives for double agency. Voila! A much more legal, and solid, operation.

Thoughts?

Well we did it! Today, January 12, 2010 we got a 5 for Fiver- 5 posts from the Five authors of Bengfort.com! As you can see, we cracked the Moet and cheers to you guys! New Years Resolutions resolved! One big problem, about this though, is that the five posts are kind of buried beneath the last one (and now this one). Until I can get the separate authors page, I thought I would put the links here up front so everyone could read them:

5 Posts/ 5 Authors/ 1 Day:

Book Review- World on Fire by Bethany Bengfort

Big, Intimidating, Necessary? by Devi Bengfort

… And Doubly in the Bubbly by Jacquelyn Bengfort

Boredom by Winston Bengfort

Quick Note from Ben by Benjamin Bengfort

Please read and enjoy! Nice work everyone!

Tonight, we have a mission.

Tonight, I must write a blog post…and thereby earn a bottle of Champagne.

The quote at the top comes from the excellent novel The Manual of Detection by Jedediah Berry, of which I have at this juncture read precisely 51%, according to the reading machine that Champagne-wielding husband of mine purchased me for the Christmas holiday.

I also highly recommend The Widow Clicquot, a biography of Veuve Clicquot, by Tilar J. Mazzeo.  A bit thin on evidence, but what she lacks in details of the woman herself, she makes up for in reams of delightful Champagne facts.  I read this one thanks to my local library.

Other recently enjoyed reads via reading machine:

The Year of the Flood, a novel by Margaret Atwood.  A companion to Oryx and Crake, a novel my copy of which I ironically lost in what I have dubbed the “Ben’s-truck-trunk-book-flooding-incident,” this is a fantastic post-apocalyptic tale by (in my opinion) one of the most astounding authors writing in English today.  I recommend not only these but the many others by her I have read–The Blind Assassin, The Edible Woman, The Robber Bride, The Handmaid’s Tale (don’t bother with the film), and her short story collection Good Bones are all excellent, and utterly engaging.

The Lacuna, by Barbara Kingsolver.  Orwellian in theme, but in ways both more subtle and more direct, she looks to the past to spin a novel of fiction from facts.  I must give props to KPLU 88.5, my local NPR affiliate, for alerting me to this novel.  (In fact, I owe that radio station for one book, one pre-ordered book, two cds and a single that I have purchased in the last month, all with great success and all, incidentally, via download.)

The Little Stranger, by Sarah Waters.  This one, a sort of neo-Gothic horror story set in postwar Britain, had me scared to stop reading–on more than one occasion, I simply read until I fell asleep, because I could only achieve calm through complete brain shutdown.  At one point, reading in bed with husband and dog, a sort of normal and banal rattling sound came from the general vicinity of the garage.  Winston, predictably, woofed–and I, unexpectedly, shrieked.  Just a little, but still, Ben has made fun of me for a week.

And finally, I will admit that the reading machine in question, Amazon’s Kindle, was probably the best gift I’ve ever received that I didn’t want.  My reading rate has gone from the odd book, here and there, to nearly grade-school levels again (when reading was my primary activity, I stayed up late under the covers every night, and leaving a book in progress felt like breaking an enchantment or waking from a deep sleep).  So, Ben, you win.

But now I’ve written a blog post, so I win too!  “The Devil’s in the details…”